Succubus Shadows Page 0,91
yourself get trapped. If you were discovered by Mei - even any of the dream creatures - you'd be fucked. They would have turned you in too."
"There was no choice," Roman said. "I had to be there, in case you needed me."
"It was too big a risk," I countered, my voice faltering this time. "If there'd been a fight, Jerome and Carter would have had no reason to defend you. And while that Morphean might have been afraid to hurt them, you would have been fair game."
"I told you, it doesn't matter. I had to be there for you."
His eyes, those eyes that were so like the sea I'd grown up with, held such earnestness and affection that I had to look away. I couldn't believe he'd risked what he had for me. Why? He had no reason to care about me after what I'd done to him, yet it was clear he still wanted me. The night I'd been captured seemed like a lifetime ago, but its events came back to me in perfect detail: his lips, his hands...
"I wish you wanted to kill me again," I muttered. "It was easier."
He rested his hand on mine, its warmth spreading through me. "Nothing about your life is ever easy."
I looked back up at him. "That's for damn sure. But I don't know...I don't know if I can do this...by which I mean, well, you know."
"You don't have to do anything," he said. "We'll just keep going on like we have. Roommates. We'll see where things go. If they change, they change. If not..." He shrugged. "So it goes."
"Did I mention that it was easier when you wanted to kill me? I'm not sure how I feel about you being so reasonable."
"Yeah, well, maybe I just feel sorry for you right now after everything that happened. Maybe I'll change my mind in a little while." He squeezed my hand. "Was it...was it awful?"
I looked away again. "Yes. Beyond awful. It's hard to explain. They showed me every nightmare I could have, every fear made flesh. Some of the things they showed me had already happened - and were almost as bad as the nightmares. I couldn't tell what was reality anymore. They showed me you guys...but it wasn't always real. I doubted everything: who I was, what I felt..." I swallowed back tears, glad I had averted my eyes.
"Hey," he said softly, reaching out to tip my chin and make me look back at him. "It's over. You're safe. We'll help you get better - I'll help. I won't let anything happen to you."
Again, his feelings for me made me uncomfortable and confused. Was it a lingering effect of the Oneroi? No, I decided a moment later. This was the kind of situation that would confuse anyone. My heart was still tangled up in Seth, someone I knew I should let go, but who had found me against impossible odds. And here was Roman, someone I could be with a bit more easily - well, kind of - and who had risked his life for me. Could I move on with him? I didn't know. But I could try.
I found his hand again and squeezed it. "Thank you."
He leaned toward me, and I think we might have kissed, but the ringing of my cell phone jolted us out of any romantic spell. I pulled my hand from his and grabbed the phone from my side table.
"Hello?"
"Miss Kincaid," came the kind, familiar voice. "It is a pleasure to speak with you again."
"Erik! Oh, I'm so happy it's you. I wanted to thank you - "
"There's nothing to thank me for. I would gladly do it again."
"Well, then, I'm still thanking you anyway." Roman, realizing this had nothing to do with him, got up and wandered off - but not before giving me one more fond look.
"As you wish," said Erik. "Are you feeling better?"
"More or less. Certainly better in body. And I think the rest will come." I wished that with my body's healing, I could also forget all the horrible things I'd seen. That wouldn't happen, though, and I felt no need to trouble him with my problems.
"I'm glad," he said. "Very glad."
Silence fell, and a suspicious feeling nudged its way into my brain. I'd assumed he was simply calling to check up on me, but something now told me there was more.
"Miss Kincaid," he said at last. "I'm sure you don't want to talk about what happened...."
"I - well." I