Succubus Shadows Page 0,110

my judgment on Seth avoiding his problems. Only, I didn't have as much luck getting away from mine.

Maddie was sitting at my desk.

I hadn't seen her in a week, not since she'd come to my condo. I'd told her then she could have indefinite leave from work and hadn't expected to see her back anytime soon. Now she stopped me dead in my tracks.

Her face was much calmer than I would have expected. No, it was more than calm. It was still. Perfectly, eerily still. Like a sculpture. And when she looked up at me, it was like looking into the eyes of the dead. Cold. Emotionless. Nonetheless, I shut the door, fearing what was to come.

"I had a million theories, you know." Her voice was as flat as her expression. "Never, ever did I consider this one. I mean, I wondered if there could have been another woman. But I never thought it'd be you."

It took an impossibly long time for my lips to move. "No...it wasn't that. It wasn't like that at all. That's not why he did it...." I couldn't finish and suddenly questioned my words. Wasn't that - by which I meant, me - exactly the reason he'd left her? Maybe our beach interlude hadn't been the direct cause, but I had certainly been the catalyst.

The magazine lay on my desk, open to the guilty page. She picked it up, studying it with a calculating look. "So what then? You were just comforting him after the fact?"

"Actually...well, actually, yeah. That shot was taken afterward."

It still sounded lame, and we both knew it. She threw the magazine down, and finally, the emotion came to her face. "What, and that makes it okay?" she cried. "You - one of my best friends - running off with my fianc茅 the day after he dumps me?"

"It wasn't like that," I repeated. "I went to find him...to see if he was okay."

"And then you made sure he was okay?" she demanded. Her words were sarcastic, but tears glittered in her eyes.

"No...I didn't expect anything like that to happen. And really, nothing much did happen. The thing is..." I took a deep breath. "We used to date. Before you guys were together. We never told anyone. Things ended...well, pretty much just before you started going out." Like, almost the day before.

That caught her off guard. Her eyes went wide. "What? You had a past...you went out with my boyfriend and never told me? He never told me?"

"We thought it'd be easier."

"Easier? Easier?" She pointed at the magazine again. "You think seeing you guys back together in full color was easier?"

"We aren't back together," I said quickly. "He didn't end things because he was cheating - " Again, I had to admit the truth to myself. He hadn't been cheating on her when he broke the engagement, but we'd slept together earlier in the relationship. "I was as surprised as you were. And I was worried. I told you, I went to find him, but we didn't sleep together. Then I left. That's it."

The tears were on her cheeks now. "It wouldn't have mattered if you had slept together. You guys keeping that past from me - you guys lying is worse. I trusted you! I trusted both of you! How could you do this? What kind of person does this to their friend?"

A damned soul, I thought. But I didn't say that. I didn't say anything.

Maddie shot up from the desk, futilely trying to wipe away the tears that were still coming. "Doug warned me once, you know. He said there was this way you guys always looked at each other that made him wonder. I told him he was crazy. I told him he was imagining it - that it was impossible. That you guys would never do that to me."

"Maddie, I'm sorry - "

She hurried to the door, pushing past me. "Not as sorry as I am for putting my trust in you. For putting my trust in both of you. I'm quitting. Right now. Don't expect to see me again." She jerked the door open. "I don't know how you can live with yourself. You two deserve each other!"

The door slammed loudly, rattling my ears. I stayed where I was, staring blankly at the desk, unable to move. Unable to think or react or do anything useful. I don't know how you can live with yourself. Me either.

"Boy, things are pretty screwed up for you."

Carter materialized beside me, his