Succubus Dreams Page 0,101

and looked as though he might weep. I kind of felt like that myself. It's a pretty big club, Dante had said.

"But...if she's already fallen...well. Maybe you guys can be together now."

Vincent shook his head and gave me a small smile that made him look sadder than when he hadn't been smiling. "I don't know. I don't even know if she'll meet with me now. Something tells me she won't want me to see her like that."

"And how do you feel?"

"I love her unconditionally...or, well, at least...I loved Yasmine the angel unconditionally. She's not that woman anymore. I mean, she may hate what's happened...she may be miserable. But eventually, she'll settle in. They always do. And then she'll be one of them. She won't be the same Yasmine, and I don't know if I can love her or if she can love me. Part of what made her such a great person was that she resisted that temptation...and I think she felt the same about me."

I forgot Vincent for a moment as my attention turned inward, toward my own situation. Again, it was like Seth and me, I realized. The continual tension in our arrangement was a pain, yet the morals it was based on were part of what attracted us. He might have said he was okay with us not having sex, but I think some part of him loved me because of my continual refusal to give in to that. Likewise, I loved his stead-fastness - not only in abstaining from me but from other lovers as well. It was part of what had made the fight so shocking. I didn't expect him to be weak.

And yet...even if we admired each other for our principles, was it worth it? And had that really been weakness on his part? Vincent and Yasmine had been together much longer than Seth and I had, torturing themselves in the same way. In the end, it had done them no good. Things had unfolded as they had.

"Star-crossed love isn't as glamorous as it seems," Vincent said, perhaps guessing my thoughts.

"I never believed it was."

"Sometimes I think...well, maybe it would have been better if she and I had never been together at all. These years have been wonderful...but well, she'd still be the woman I loved if I'd never gotten involved."

I didn't know about that. Surely, brief moments of joy were worth the pain that might follow? Wasn't that why I was with Seth, despite knowing he'd eventually die? Maybe Seth had been right about taking chances. Life was short. Maybe you needed to seize what good you could. It was all so confusing, and all of a sudden, I wanted to talk to Seth about all of this - about living life and taking risks, about what made us love one another, and about what made our relationship worth fighting for. I didn't want to make the mistakes Yasmine and Vincent had. Seth and I needed to sit down with open minds and make this thing with us work.

"What are you going to do now?" I asked Vincent. I didn't think now was the best time to argue relationship philosophy with him.

He gestured vaguely behind him. "Leave town. Even being masked, I know they're looking for me. I need to hide out somewhere."

I nodded. I was sad to see him go, but I knew what the other angels and demons would do if they found him. So, I wished him well and shared a brief hug before he departed. As I watched him leave, I again pondered the cautionary tale he represented. Growing anxious, I hoped this airport trip would go quickly so that I could call Seth.

Wandering to the other side of the store, I found Maddie paying for her purchases.

"Who was that guy?" she asked me, handing over her credit card. "He was cute. Bedraggled...but cute."

"He's had a long day," I told her. And a long eternity to go. "He's just a friend."

"Is he single?"

I thought about it. "Yeah, I guess he is."

While I waited for her, I looked over at a nearby mirror. Maddie was still going strong with her new cute and stylish self. She'd gotten a haircut too, the layering of which made her face appear delicate and lovely. The slacks and sweater, though simple, looked sleek and elegant on her.

By contrast, I looked kind of like the ugly stepsister. Oh, I still had the nice figure and pretty face born of shape-shifting, but I'd thrown on jeans