Succubs on Top Page 0,63

you know it. It's got to be hard enough for you to accept that I'm sleeping around on you, so to speak, without real evidence to confirm each time it happens."

"Why don't you let me decide what I can or can't accept."

He didn't sound angry exactly, but I'd never heard him so sharp and assertive. The arrogant part of me didn't like being spoken to like that, but I knew he was justified in the comment. And, I had to admit, that confidence was kind of a turn-on. Alpha males. Yum.

"I know what you are," he continued, "and I know what you do. I had to acknowledge that from the beginning of the relationship. It bothers me, yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't go on with the knowledge." He laid his hand over mine, his fingertips absentmindedly stroking my skin. "But you can't be afraid to tell me the truth. Not ever. Even if it's ugly. What we have isn't about sex - like that wasn't already perfectly obvious. But if we don't have honesty either, then there's nothing left."

I forced my eyes up to him and smiled. "How can you be so young and so wise at the same time?"

"I'm not that wise," he said, pulling me to him so I leaned against his shoulder. He didn't challenge the "young" comment. Looking at our ages objectively, one could practically accuse me of cradle robbing.

I sighed and snuggled into him. "It means nothing, you know. All that stuff I do. I don't even remember their names."

"I know. You've told me. Although..."

"What?"

"Sometimes that's not exactly comforting. Sex isn't supposed to be about 'nothing.' I don't really like the idea of you being with guys you don't want to be with. Even if you're technically my girlfriend...I'd rather you at least liked what was going on. "

"Well...in the ultimate heat of it, I sort of do like it. The energy I get from sex...well, you can't really understand it. But it...it's literally what I live for. So even if I don't want to be with someone before and after the deed, there's still that one moment, no matter how brief, when I want them." I tried to give him a reassuring smile. "Besides, don't feel too bad for me. Things are a lot better than they used to be. I have more of a choice about who I'm with now, which makes a big difference. It's not like I just take whoever comes along."

"What do you mean you have a choice now} Haven't you always?"

I laughed uneasily. "Oh, come on, Seth. You know women didn't start getting any real rights until about a century ago. Men haven't always been kind or considerate in their relations with the fair sex - especially those in the lower classes."

He stared at me, shocked, and pulled back a little. I loved how expressive those eyes were, even if their current emotion wasn't exactly positive. "You're talking about...it...it sounds an awful lot like rape."

I shrugged, immediately realizing we needed to steer out of these waters. "It's hard to rape a succubus. In the ultimate climax, the succubus is the conqueror - especially if the guy ends up blacking out."

"You aren't really answering my question."

"And you aren't really asking it."

We lapsed into silence. A moment later Seth took me back into a tight embrace, burying his face in my shoulder this time.

"Hey, now. Don't let it bother you. Don't judge the past by the standards of today. It won't work. They're incompatible."

"I don't like the idea of you doing things you don't want to do," he said gruffly. "I wish I could do something...wish I could, I don't know, protect you."

"You can't," I whispered, kissing the crown of his head. "You can't, and you have to accept that."

We went to bed together after that, the first time since the kissing incident. Seth held me tightly all night, even in his sleep, clinging as though I might slip away if he let go.

Again, I marveled at his understanding. And again, I questioned whether I was in love yet. How would I know? What was love anyway? I ticked off a list as my hands held tightly to his back. Affection. Connection. Understanding. Acceptance. All these things he gave me. Those were parts of love. All these things he offered freely, no matter how terrible each new discovery about me was. I wondered whether I returned as much as I received. Did I have any right to be in