Stupid Fast - By Geoff Herbach Page 0,38
there, Squirrel Nuts?”
“Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I…I can’t believe they said that,” I said. We cut through several backyards, heading in the direction of her house. I was a little worried that we’d trip motion sensors and get caught in spotlights.
“Said what?” Aleah asked.
“That Aunt Jemima thing. This town sucks.”
“I hear worse than that at my private high school in the city, Felton.”
“You do?”
“I’m more concerned that you’re part of a gang fight.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why did they come after you?”
“They didn’t.”
“They threw an egg at you.”
“That’s Rick and Rob Randle. They throw eggs at everyone. They’re criminals.”
“Are they your friends?”
“No. Of course not.”
“How do you know their names?”
“This is Bluffton. I know everybody’s name.”
“Weird.”
We crossed another couple of yards and then were back on Hickory Street, Aleah’s street. As we got to her house, another car squealed around the corner and skidded to a halt under the streetlight at her corner. It was a new Honda. There were three smashed eggs on the hood. Jamie Dern leaned out the window. “Yo, Rein Stone. Have you seen the Randles? They egged Reese’s car.” Jason Reese was driving. A couple of other honky football players sat in the backseat. They leaned over to look at us.
“Yeah. They were just over on Davis.”
“Who’s that?” Jamie nodded at Aleah.
“This is Aleah.”
“Okay. Nice to meet you,” Jamie said to her. Then he shouted “Let’s go.” They were obviously pretty mad.
“He’s very polite for a gangbanger,” Aleah said as we stood in her driveway.
“Jamie? His dad’s a dentist.”
“Do you think he’ll shoot the Randles when he finds them?”
“No,” I laughed. “Plus, he won’t find them. There’s like a million miles of streets and highways and county roads, not to mention all the gravel roads. Jesus, the Randles could drive all the way to the Mississippi on gravel roads. Reese will just drive around and around and around until they get tired and stop for a Quarter Pounder. Then they’ll probably go to Kwik Trip for a slushy or maybe to Walmart to walk around.
“What if they do find the Randles?”
“Probably cut them.”
“Really?”
“With their knives.”
“Shut up.”
“Okay.”
“Seriously, Felton. What will they do if they find the Randles?”
“There could be a fight but probably not. The Randles don’t want to fight football players because they’d get smeared. Football players don’t want to fight the Randles because they’d get in trouble. There could be some shouting, I guess. Probably somebody will flick the bird, shout some names, you know, “You jerks, clean up this egg from my mom’s car or I’ll punch your nuts off!” But it won’t be a big deal. Tomorrow night, the same thing will happen all over again. Eggs. Chasing. Quarter Pounders. Crap goes on and on. Ten years from now, Jamie Dern will probably be a dentist.”
“Weird. What about the Randles? What will happen to them?”
“They’ll go to jail for stealing cigarettes. Their stinky kids will eventually be on Main Street playing video games.”
“Really?”
“That’d be my guess.”
“Weird.”
“It’s the circle of life.”
“I like this town.”
“Are you crazy?”
“The stakes are low.”
“That’s true. Low stakes. Yup.”
I followed Aleah back up toward her house. I wanted to go inside with her. She stopped me on the stoop.
“It’s time for me to practice,” she said.
“Piano?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” Oh, man! No!
“I’ll be playing for you when you drop off the paper.”
“Don’t you ever sleep, Aleah?”
“All day long, all summer long.” Then she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “See you in the morning, Felton.” She opened the door and went in.
I stood there for a second, stunned. Then I called after her, “I’ll tell Jerri not to come over tonight with her wine,” but the door had already shut behind her.
Then my cell started buzzing in my pocket.
***
“Where the hell are you? You left two hours ago. Aren’t you tired of riding your bike?”
I’d just answered my cell and was in Aleah’s driveway climbing on my bike one-handed so I could speak. “Why are you awake, Andrew? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” I was sincerely scared.
“I’m hungry.”
That’s not so bad. I exhaled. “Is Jerri awake?”
“No. She hasn’t been up at all.”
“Get yourself something out of the fridge.”
“I don’t want to go upstairs. Can you come home please?”
“I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”
Andrew hung up. I rode home slowly, sort of split between the monkey elation of Aleah’s lips touching my cheek and wariness over the Randles making a return and a mess of me with their eggs and also wariness over the Reinstein-Berbas making a