as a light source.” I rub at the back of my neck, nervous about showing her this side of me. It’s another reminder of where I’ve been.
“Did you . . . make those other ones for me?”
I shrug in response, and her eyes widen behind her red-rimmed glasses. Her head turns back toward the worktable.
“What will this be?” She steps closer to the table and examines what I’ve started.
I shrug again, not having defined it yet. Soft round bulbs will eventually dangle from the coiled metal tubing, giving the lamp an almost octopus appearance.
“Where did you learn to do this?” Rita asks, her voice full of admiration as she bends at the waist to further examine the beginnings of the structure.
“In prison. I’m sort of self-taught, but they offered classes in metalwork and art, so I gave it a try. I find it soothing, and it allows my mind to focus when my thoughts scatter.”
Rita stands upright. “What has your thoughts scattered?”
Lowering my face, I glance down at my feet. If she doesn’t know by now that my thoughts all include her, I can’t spell it out any plainer.
“You made those other pieces for me, didn’t you?” she asks again, her voice softening while full of awe.
“I did.” Sheepishly, I wonder what she thought of them.
“Is it me?” The question cracks her voice, and I glance up at her. “The first piece. Was it me?”
“It is. It reminds me of you when we went fishing.” When I kissed you under a covered bridge. “It was one of the best days of my life.”
Her eyes widen before she gazes over at the piece I’m constructing.
“And the second piece? Is it you?”
A hollowed man with a newly lit heart? Yes, I’d say that represents me, but I don’t. I just stare at her, certain she’s about to tell me to go to hell again. “You still haven’t mentioned what you’re doing here.”
She squints at the beginning of the sculpture. “Remember when I told you about my wake-up call to being an alcoholic?”
I remember too vividly. We’d discussed alcoholism, and Rita told me about the night that changed everything for her. I’d never been so angry on behalf of someone else. If ever there was someone I wanted to throttle, it was a man who goes home with a drunk woman and takes advantage of her. Rita assured me she didn’t think that’s how it happened, but that night scared her. It scared me for her.
“I made a mistake, right? A big one.” I nod to agree. Things could have gone so much worse for her that evening.
“Good people make bad decisions.” She’s said it often enough to me. She made a poor choice that night.
“You made a mistake, too.”
I lower my head. God, not this again. I can’t keep rehashing my past. I can’t seem to get away from that damn fire.
“You should have told me.”
My head pops up.
“You should have told me the whole story.”
“I didn’t know the man inside the building was your man, Rita. I swear if I had known there was a connection, I never would have—” What? I never would have fallen for her? I never would have touched her? I can’t take those things back, and I don’t want to. Swallowing hard, I stare at her. “We said no sob stories.”
Rita weakly smiles. “I think this is a little different.” In silence, we look at one another a minute. “But then again, everything about you has been different.”
My breath hitches at the implication. Does she think I’m wrong for her? Way to drive in the nail.
“Well, I don’t want to be a bad decision for you.” Sarcasm drips from my tone along with hurt. I don’t need her to keep rejecting me.
“You’re everything I never thought I’d need. You’ve gotten under my skin, and I think that’s exactly what I needed and didn’t know it. I needed a push. Maybe it was that winning personality of yours.” Her voice teases, and my eyes widen.
“I thought it was the smirk.” She’s constantly telling me I have a curl to my lip that I use against her.
“Maybe it was your fine ass on my couch.”
This makes me chuckle a little. “You don’t own that couch, sweet.”
“But you own me.”
“What?”
“I can’t let you go,” she whispers, and tears fill her eyes. She blinks rapidly, and I step forward, reaching for her shoulders and massaging them.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I can’t go through this kind of heartbreak again.”