I heard footfalls heading toward the bathroom. I expected Logan to knock before walking in, but he didn’t. Instead he opened the door and began stripping out of his clothes, his gaze assessing, not lustful, considering I was naked as the day I was born.
The hotel had upgraded the rooms a few years back and the standard size tub had been switched out for a whirlpool, or it never would have held us both. I barely noticed his own naked state when he stepped inside the tub and rearranged me, so I was sitting on his lap.
Logan didn’t speak as we soaked in the water, didn’t make a move sexually. He held me with both arms for a while, resting his chin on my shoulder, then grabbed a bar of soap and began to wash my arms, my back. The kindness and comfort caused my breath to hitch before more tears poured silently again. With each shudder of breath, the tighter his arm around my waist became until I was leaning my head back against his shoulder. We stayed like that until the water turned cool and my skin began to wrinkle, then just as silently as he’d entered the bathroom, Logan stood and helped me from the tub.
When I tried to grab a towel to cover myself, Logan pulled it from my hand and dried me off gently, wrapping me in it before drying himself off. We used the toothbrushes provided by the motel, but I was too tired to worry about my hair. When I slumped against the wall to watch Logan finish his teeth, he dropped his toothbrush and picked me up, carrying me to the bed.
When I realized I’d left my clothes in the bathroom, I started to climb off the bed for my hoodie to sleep in, but Logan produced a cotton tee from a backpack he’d had in his truck and pulled it over my head.
We hadn’t spoken a single word to each other since entering the hotel room. I was too shocked when we arrived, and too angry and grief stricken to care. My throat was dry from crying, so I swallowed and wet my lips before I tried. “Find whoever did this, Logan. Find them and put them away before I do, because I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself from killing them.”
It wasn’t an idle threat. I never dreamed I was capable of taking someone’s life, but in that moment, I could have without guilt. Duke was a kind man who’d looked out for everyone. He deserved for justice to be served.
Logan understood that, understood exactly what I was feeling. Instead of rolling his eyes or scoffing at what most would call an empty threat, he nodded and kissed me on the forehead with a muttered, “I know. I’ll find them and make them pay,” before he threw back the sheets, dropped the towel around his hips, and pulled me down onto the bed and into his arms.
Nothing else needed to be said, so I closed my eyes against the nightmare and prayed for sleep I doubted would come. But Logan helped me push the demons back, like he’d been doing since the moment I’d met him. He ran his hand gently through my hair, caressing the strands with a lover’s touch until my muscles unlocked. In his arms I felt safe. As if the world couldn’t touch me. And blissful darkness finally took me under as I lay securely in his arms.
_______________
White light exploded through the gun’s scope, blinding Logan for an instant. Sweat clung to his body, mixed with sand and dirt, stinging his eyes as he tried to reestablish his unit through his scope.
“Two bogeys. Goddammit!” Logan roared. “Where? Show your faces, you sonsofbitches.”
Logan reached for his radio as he scanned for survivors, for more enemies to bleed from the darkness. But the chaos on the ground, the destruction covering the bodies of his unit, obscured what he knew in his heart.
They were dead. All dead. Logan drifted between the state of wake and dream. Pushing hard against the memories. Sweat coated his body as he tried to throw off the weight on his chest. He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t fill his lungs. The smoke and fire left behind by the suicide bombers coated his lungs as he searched for survivors in the destruction. Dead. They were all dead.
“Logan.”
A soft hand brushed against his cheek. Logan moved his head to keep contact with it, fighting the darkness