awful.” I looked to her as my chin started to quiver.
Tosha looked around the room for a minute before picking up her car keys. “Come on, let’s go.”
“What?”
“We’ve got to get out of here. You’ve done nothing but mope around for weeks, and the last few days have been like some episode of “My So-Called Life.” We’ve gotta go drink, and dance, and act like college students for five seconds.”
She was right. Despite my encouraging otherwise, Tosha spent most of her time with me, when she wasn’t with Liz. She said she loved me too much to let me suffer alone.
“Fine, let me change,” I conceded before heading to my closet.
My phone rang with Bill’s number three more times before we agreed to leave our cells in our room and enjoy the night interruption-free.
“We’ll go to Liz’s first to pick her up, I texted her while you were changing.” Tosha and I bounded down the stairs.
“Perfect, let’s go somewhere new.” I smiled at the thought of just going out with friends. I hadn’t done that since Ryker had been home.
As we reached the entryway, I cursed under my breath.
“What?” Tosha stopped with her hand on the door.
“I forgot my damn debit card. I’ll meet you at your car, be right back.” I raced up the stairs, fumbled through my desk and found my card.
Turning to leave my room I was nearly knocked over when I ran right into someone in my doorway.
“Ryker!” I squealed as he stood solid, unmoved by the collision.
I still don’t know how he got into the building, but that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that my shock instantly singed into fear as I looked him over. He was pale, sweating, and vacant-looking.
“Natalie, I need you to listen to me . . .” I didn’t smell alcohol on his breath, but something was off. He was swaying like he’d just gotten off a ride at the fair, and he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt despite it being November.
“Are you okay, Ry?” I asked, stepping aside as he entered the room. I turned so my back was to the door, but I could still get out if I needed to.
He shook his head as he plunked down on Tosha’s bed. “I’m sorry if I hurt you the other night.”
“I’m fine, I—”
“No!” he shouted, “It’s not fine! I’m such a fucking mess, Natalie . . .”
And then, he started to cry. I’d never seen him cry, not even when we went to Lucas’s grave. He shook with frightening force as he dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. Deep breaths leading the way. I walked over and sat down next to him.
“Ry,” I whispered, setting my hand on his shoulder.
He jerked anyway, despite my gentle touch, and an empty prescription bottle fell out of his cargo pocket and landed on the floor. I picked it up before he knew it was missing.
“What’s this?” I rolled the label over and saw they were Oxycontin. The date was recent. “How’d you get these?”
Ryker snatched the bottle from my hand. “Remember? I got shot?” he spewed.
“Yes,” I stood slowly and walked back toward the door, wondering how long it would take Tosha to come check on what was taking me so long, “but you’re done with therapy and that’s a new prescription.”
“It still hurts.” Ryker picked his head up, and I noticed his lips were pale and his pupils looked kind of funny.
“What hurts?” I knew he wasn’t just talking about his shoulder.
“Everything. Luke, you . . .”
“Ryker, when did you pick up that prescription?” I anchored my heels in the doorway, hoping to catch someone as they walked by.
“Huh?” Ryker shook his head as he seemed to try to understand me.
My chest heaved under my erratic breaths. “Ryker, how many of those pills did you take today?”
He chuckled, followed by a low growl, “All of them.” Ryker looked up and must have seen the fear on my face because he leapt to his feet and met me at the door. “Shh,” he whispered, putting his finger to my lips, “you can’t say anything. I’ll get in so much trouble, Nat . . .”
Taking a step back, I scavenged through my brain to remember the quickest way outside, as our room was almost in the middle of the hallway.
I swallowed hard. “Did you take all of them at once?” The realization nearly crushed me.
He nodded, “Mmhmm, and pretty soon I’ll fall asleep, and this will have all just