Still The One - Carrie Elks Page 0,94

in to see me in the office. Everybody assumed I’d gotten pregnant by an out-of-towner.” She pursed her lips together and shook her head. “But that wasn’t what got me. It was seeing all the beautiful things Nora was buying for her baby. She would ask me what kind of nursery I was planning, what stroller I was buying, who was organizing my baby shower. And I was so damn jealous. She had everything I’d always dreamed of. A home, a family, a father for her baby.”

“So you stole from Johnny?”

“I took what was ours.” Her mom looked up, her eyes flashing. “He hadn’t given me a dime toward the things I needed for you. So I started taking money out of the business account so I could buy things for your nursery.”

“You stole thousands, Mom.” It was hard to keep the anger from her voice.

“He owed me.” Kim sighed. “I knew I’d never get the chance again.”

Van opened her mouth to argue, but it was pointless. Instead, she took a sip of coffee and looked at the woman in front of her. “What happened when he found out?”

“He was so angry. Threatened to call the cops, told me I’d be thrown into jail and you’d be put in foster care. Unless I agreed to leave my job and to keep quiet about me and him.”

“So you agreed?”

Kim nodded. “I was never going to tell anyway. Wouldn’t give him or Nora the satisfaction.”

“You should have told me this years ago,” Van told her, breathing down the anger rising up inside her. “I had a right to know.”

“That your daddy didn’t want you? When was a good time to tell you, Van? When you were six and were going to blab it everywhere? Or when you were a teenager and so desperate for a family you practically adopted the Hartsons? When is a good time to tell a kid their father lives down the road but doesn’t want to know them? Believe it or not, I was trying to protect you.”

“You were protecting yourself.”

“It was the same thing.”

“No,” Van said, frowning. “No, it isn’t.”

“You think I don’t know how you feel about gossip? Honey, I know. I’ve always known. I’ve seen you wince when somebody looks your way and says something. You pretend you’re this strong person, and maybe sometimes you are, but when you get hurt, it kills you.”

Van inhaled a ragged breath. Her mom’s words were too close for comfort. “I still deserved to know.”

“Yes, you did.” Kim folded her arms across her chest. “And now you know.”

“I would have preferred you’d told me privately,” Van said pointedly. “And what about Zoe? Is her father really someone who was passing through town like you always said?” Van had to be sure. There was no way she’d let Zoe go through this pain. Not if she could help it.

Kim looked sheepish. “Yes, Zoe’s father isn’t anyone in town. And I am so sorry about last night. I should have told you in private. I’m going to stop drinking.”

“Sure.” Van rolled her eyes.

“I’ve got an appointment scheduled with my doc. He thinks he can get me referred to a rehab facility right away. He has contacts at a charity.”

Van looked up, surprised. “What?”

Kim nodded. “Only for a couple of weeks. But it’s a start, right?”

“I guess.” Van sighed. “There’s something else you need to know.”

“What?” Kim’s brows knit together as she looked at her.

“When you were pregnant with Zoe, and I gave you that money instead of using it to go to college, it felt like I was dying. Giving everything up because of your bad decisions.”

Kim blinked, surprised. “You told me you wanted me to have it. That’s what you said.”

“I lied. I hated you for it,” Van whispered. “And I hated me for being so weak to give it to you. It ruined everything.”

“No…” Kim shook her head, her brows dipping. “Don’t say that.”

Van felt her eyes sting with tears. “I was supposed to go to Duke with Tanner, remember? We’d started dating. I was in love with him. We had it all planned out. Three years at college, then we’d head to New York and live there for a while.” She pressed her lips together, remembering the day her mom told her she was pregnant. And all those dreams Van had disappeared in smoke. She couldn’t leave. Not when her mom didn’t have a job or any way to take care of a baby. So Van gave Kim