Still Me (Me Before You #3) - Jojo Moyes Page 0,144

days meant that, aside from our shopping trip, we had limited time together. Her presence in the city – with her intimate knowledge of Sam’s life – had created a vibration in the air that I didn’t know how to dispel. I was grateful that Josh was flat out with work and didn’t notice if I was down or distracted. But Margot noticed and one night, when her beloved Wheel of Fortune had finished and I rose to take Dean Martin for his last walk of the day, she asked me straight out what the matter was.

I told her. I couldn’t think of a reason not to.

‘You still love the other one,’ she said.

‘You sound like my sister,’ I said. ‘I don’t. I just – I just loved him so much when I did. And the end of it was so awful and I thought that being over here and living a different life would insulate me from it. I don’t do social media any more. I don’t want to keep tabs on anyone. And yet somehow information about your ex will always end up finding its way to you. And it’s like I can’t concentrate while Lily’s here because she’s now part of his life.’

‘Perhaps you should just get in touch with him, dear. It sounds as if you still have things to say.’

‘I have nothing to say to him,’ I said. My voice grew impassioned. ‘I tried so hard, Margot. I wrote to him and sent him emails and called. Do you know he didn’t write me one letter? In three months? I asked if he would write because I thought it would be a really lovely way for us to stay connected and we could learn things about each other and look forward to speaking and have something to remind us of our time apart and he just … he just wouldn’t.’

She sat and watched me, her hands folded across the remote control.

I straightened my shoulders. ‘But it’s fine. Because I’ve moved on. And Josh is just terrific. I mean, he’s handsome, and he’s kind, and he has this great job, and he’s ambitious – oh, he is so ambitious. He’s really going places, you know. He has things he wants – houses and a career and giving things back. He wants to give back! And he hasn’t even really got anything to give back yet!’

I sat down. Dean Martin stood in front of me, confused. ‘And he’s totally clear that he wants to be with me. No ifs and no buts. He literally called me his girlfriend from our first date. And I’ve heard all about the serial daters in this town. Do you know how lucky that makes me feel?’

She gave a small nod.

I stood again. ‘So I don’t really give a monkey’s about Sam. I mean, we hardly even knew each other when I came over here. I suspect if it hadn’t been for each of us requiring emergency medical help we might not have been together at all. In fact, I’m sure of it. And I plainly wasn’t right for him or he would have waited, right? Because that’s what people do. So all in all, it’s great. And I’m actually really happy with how everything has turned out. It’s all good. All good.’

There was a short silence.

‘So I see,’ said Margot, quietly.

‘I’m really happy.’

‘I can see that, dear.’ She watched me for a moment, then placed her hands on the arms of her chair. ‘Now. Perhaps you could take that poor dog out. His eyes have started to bulge.’

25

It took me two evenings to locate Margot’s grandson. Josh was busy with work and Margot went to bed most nights by nine so one evening I sat on the floor by the front door – the one place where I could pick up the Gopniks’ WiFi – and I started googling her son, testing the name Frank De Witt, and when nothing of that name came up, Frank Aldridge Junior. There was nobody who could have been him, unless he’d moved to a different part of the country, but even then the dates and nationalities of all the men who came up under that name were wrong.

On the second night, on a whim, I looked up Margot’s married name in some old papers that were in the chest of drawers in my room. I found a card for a funeral service for Terrence Weber, so I tried Frank Weber and discovered, with some