I force myself to hold his stony gaze. “I just I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lying, and I’m sorry for the way things ended. I didn’t treat you fairly.”
Nothing.
“Okay. Well. That was it. Bye, Max.”
I’m on the first step back down when he calls out, “Did you sleep with him?”
I stop.
“While we were together,” he adds.
I turn and look him in the eye. “No. And that’s the truth. We didn’t even kiss.”
“Are you sleeping with him now?”
I blush. “God, Max.”
“Are you?”
“No. And I’m leaving now.” But I don’t move. This is my last chance to know. “Where have you been for the last month? I called. I wanted to talk with you.”
“I was staying with a friend.”
“Where?”
“Santa Monica.” Something about the way he says it. As if he wants me to ask.
“A . . . girl?”
“A woman. And I did sleep with her.” Max slams his door.
Chapter thirty
Max has always known what to say—and when to say it—to make it hurt the worst. His words stung, but it only took a moment for me to realize why. It’s not because I care that he’s been with another woman. It’s because I can’t believe that I ever loved him. I viewed Max in such a willfully blind way. How could I have ignored his vindictive side? How could I have committed myself to someone whose knee-jerk reaction was always anger and cruelty?
I apologized. He reacted in his typical fashion. I went to his apartment for absolution, and I got it.
Good riddance.
Winter break comes to an end, and with it, so does my grounding. School resumes. I’m surprised when three of my classmates—three people I don’t know well—approach me the first day and say that they’re happy to see I’m dressing like myself again.
It makes me feel . . . gratified. Appreciated.
Even Lindsey sits taller and prouder, a combination of Charlie and his friends (who have joined us at lunch) and seeing me colorful again. It’s nice to have more people around. The hard part is waiting for the weekend. I miss that chance of seeing Cricket at any moment. The pale blue glass of my window looks dull without him on the other side.
Friday is the longest school day in the history of time. I watch the clock with eyeballs like Ping-Pong balls, driving Lindsey crazy. “It’ll come,” she says. “Patience, Ned.” But as the last bell rings, my phone does, too. A text from NAKED TIGER WOMAN:Not coming home this weekend. Unexpected project. On the first week! This sucks.
My world caves in. But then a second text appears:I miss you.
And then a third:I hope that’s ok to say now.
My heart is cartwheeling as I text back:Miss you, too. Miss you even more this weekend.
!!!!!!!!! = chirping crickets + ringing bells
We text for my entire walk home, and I’m floating like a pink fluffy cloud. I let him go so that he can work, and he protests for several texts, which makes me even happier. Throughout the night, my phone blinks with new messages—about his roommate Dustin’s hideous friends, about being hungry, about not being able to read his own notes. I fill his phone with messages about Norah repacking her boxes, about Andy’s seasonal clementine pie, about accidently leaving my math book in my locker.
In the morning, my parents are taken aback when I wake up early and materialize downstairs while they’re still eating breakfast. Andy examines the calendar. “I thought your shift didn’t start until four.”