her mouth, then lifted his head, his hooded gaze moving over her face.
“Just friends?” he whispered, his breathing as ragged as hers.
Tears sprang to Livy’s eyes, and she put a trembling hand to his lips. “Just friends.”
Then she disentangled herself, turned, and ran from the jail, struggling to keep the gathering tears from falling.
Chapter Fourteen
Livy lost the battle long before she reached the orphanage. She cut through the alley behind Miss Janie and Miss Maisie’s shop, hoping to avoid questions if the two elderly ladies saw her.
She slowed when she reached the orphanage. She never planned to fall in love, ever. She placed a hand on her quivering stomach. Jake would want children, wouldn’t he? She’d seen him with Gracie and his brother and sisters. He’d want a houseful. Images of her sister pleading with her to do something swam before her eyes. She just couldn’t. She wasn’t brave enough.
No matter what she felt for Jake Russell.
Slipping into the lean-to attached to the kitchen, Livy smoothed her skirt and patted her hair. Long before she wanted to, she went inside.
Mrs. Brooks smiled at her from the stove. “I was beginning to worry.”
Livy took off her coat and her gloves and tried not to look at the older woman.
“Livy?”
“Yes, ma’am?” Her voice cracked, the result of her tears.
“Did you bring the nutmeg and salt?”
Livy’s face burned, and fresh tears sprouted. “Oh, I’m sorry. I left it in the lean-to.” She darted outside and retrieved the package. How could she have been so careless to leave it outside? Mrs. Brooks would know something was wrong for sure. She trudged back inside and handed the parcel over.
Mrs. Brooks dried her hands, tilted Livy’s chin up, and searched her eyes. Concern filled her face. “You’ve been crying. What is it?” Her gaze hardened and she looked like a mother hen about to fly into a rage. “Is it that MacKinnion woman again? What’s she gone and done now?”
“No, it’s not her.” Livy shook her head.
“Then what is it?”
“I—it’s Jake.” Tears fell from her eyes. “He almost got shot last night.”
“Oh no. Is he all right?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Livy swiped at the tears that refused to stop, no matter how hard she willed them to. Mrs. Brooks took Livy in her arms and let her cry. When she could cry no more, the woman held her at arm’s length and searched her face. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”
Livy pulled away and folded her arms tight against her stomach. “I think he cares for me, but . . .”
“But what?”
“He won’t feel the same when he finds out about my past.”
And did she want him to care? No, because she could never return his feelings. Not after what happened to Katie. If Jake stayed out of her life, she could forget about him, and life would be so much simpler.
Wouldn’t it?
“Oh, Livy, I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit. As he gets to know you, he’ll see that you’re not the same girl you were in Chicago.” A slight smile creased Mrs. Brooks’s face. “Even I can attest to that. You care for him, too, don’t you?”
“I don’t know. I can’t ever be a—a wife.” Livy’s heart pounded. “I—I just can’t.”
“Because of what happened to your sister and the babe?”
Livy nodded, unable to talk past the lump in her throat. Mrs. Brooks didn’t know the full story. Nobody did. Livy broke out in a cold sweat. How long had Katie suffered? Livy wasn’t even sure herself. She’d blocked it out to save her sanity.
“Livy, my mother died in childbirth when I was a girl, probably about the same age you were when your sister passed. I know the circumstances weren’t the same, but for a long, long time, I didn’t want to marry and have children. Then I met my dear Horace. God never saw fit to give us children of our own, but I wanted them. We both did. As you get to know Jake, and fall in love with him, God willing, you’ll feel the same.”
Livy nodded, blinking back tears, aching for her mentor’s loss as she ached for her own.
“I need to check on the children.” Mrs. Brooks hugged her. “Why don’t you set the table while I’m gone?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Livy reached for a stack of plates, thinking about Mrs. Brooks’s words. The woman always saw the best in people. She couldn’t know that if Jake had his way, every street kid in Chestnut would be rounded up and shipped right back to Chicago.