Stay For Me - Megan Smith Page 0,76

scoots over and pats the bed next to her. Mrs. Del Luca comes over and climbs in with us. The three of us sit there on Layla’s old bed eating pancakes and ice cream together.

After we are done, Fallon and her mom leave me to myself. Today feels different. I don’t know what kind of different but a good one. I get up and take a shower. As I walk back into my room to grab some clothes there is a knock on the door.

I quickly pull on a pair of jeans before yelling, “Come in.”

Fallon walks in holding one of my old Boston University t-shirts. “Can you wear this?” she asks shyly. Layla used to love sleeping in this shirt. I bring it close to my face and I can still smell her.

I smile and it feels good, so good. “Of course I can.”

Fallon sits on the bed while I put the shirt on.

“Fallon, can you help me do something today?”

She nods.

I’m stronger today than I was six months ago. I can do this, I have to do this, it’s time.

Fallon and I stop by the flower shop on the way to the grave yard. When we pull through the gates I start to get angry again. I don’t want to be here, I shouldn’t be here. It should be me in that damn box six feet under, not Layla. I follow the directions that Jaylinn texted to me and I spot Layla’s grave. I didn’t have the heart to ask her mom where Layla was, I should have known but I couldn’t bring myself to come here before now.

I sit in the car and look out the window. Fallon senses my hesitation. She unbuckles herself from the backseat, grabs the book she brought, climbs out of the car and walks a few feet towards Layla’s grave. This seven year old girl has more courage than I do.

Fallon takes a seat next to her sister’s tombstone and opens the book up. I sit and watch giving her a few minutes alone before I talk myself into doing this.

I take a deep breath and climb from the car. I walk around to the trunk and grab my guitar and the flowers I bought. I wander down to Fallon and Layla.

My breathing is labored with each step and my hands start to sweat. I miss her so fucking much. My heart is breaking all over again.

Her simple tombstone is surrounded by flowers and fresh cut green grass. My eyes tear up as I read her tombstone.

Layla Del Luca

March 16, 1993 – February 13, 2015

Always in our thoughts

Forever in our hearts

I wipe the tears away. Fuck, I knew this was going to hurt but I figured after so many months it wouldn’t that much. I was wrong, so fucking wrong.

I lean the flowers up against the tombstone then sit down and put the guitar on my lap. I wipe my hands on my jeans and string the cords. Fallon sets her book aside and watches me.

“I thought she’d like this.” I say to Fallon.

She smiles and nods. “Her favorite song?”

“Yeah.”

I string the cords to the same song I sung to her in my office the night of the accident, Ron Pope’s Last First Kiss. “We might have met as children…” I get lost in the music for the next few minutes. My voice cracks as the waves of emotion crash over me.

When I’m done I set the guitar down and let the tears fall. There isn’t any holding them back now. Fallon launches herself in my arms and together we cry. We cry for the loss of a person we loved more than anything in the world, someone who always put you before herself, someone who should still be here with us today.

Fallon and I sit here for a while after the tears have stopped. She picked her book back up and finished reading to her sister. When she was done I knew it was time to go.

“I’ll meet you back at the car in just a second, okay?”

Fallon nods her head. “I love you, Layla.”

I choke back the tears once again.

When she’s made it to the car I stand and bend down so I can touch Layla’s tombstone. “I’m sorry it took so long to come and visit you.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’m not real good with this type of thing so I wrote you a letter.” I pull the letter that I’ve been writing over the