Stay Gold - Tobly McSmith Page 0,96

transgender and non-binary youth reported being discouraged from using a bathroom that corresponds to their gender identity.

And the most staggering:

39% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past twelve months, with more than half of transgender and non-binary youth having seriously considered it.

These numbers are alarming. Frightening. Disgusting. But after tonight, is there any question about why they are so high? We need to do better. And it starts right here. Right now. With us, the students of Hillcrest and citizens of Addison.

I can’t help but think of The Outsiders. In my opinion, one of the better of the required reading selections in seventh grade. Set in the late ’60s, centered around a gang of boys who fought and fought and fought. Back then, fighting equaled masculinity and maturity. Do you remember Johnny? He was the friend who died, the sacrificial lamb. On his death bed, Johnny wrote Ponyboy a letter urging him to “stay gold.” A motto inspired by the famous line in a Robert Frost poem, “Nothing Gold Can Stay.” Johnny’s final request for Ponyboy was that he remain innocent in a world of toxic masculinity. And to enjoy watching the sunrise.

I like to think our view on violence is shifting. Manhood is no longer measured by aggression and force. Not saying violence doesn’t exist—it literally happened in the bathroom of the hotel last night. Rather, violence and masculinity are no longer synonyms.

If that’s true (and obviously it is), then what does “stay gold” mean now? What would Johnny say to our Pony tonight? From where I sit, the transgender community isn’t striving for innocence. There’s no time to be innocent when the stats above suggest constant threats against their lives.

Nowadays, we need truth. The struggle is not to stay new to the world, it is to remain true to oneself, no matter what. To stand tall against intolerance and inequity. Rejection. Hate. Discrimination. Even violence.

Pony hid his truth of being transgender from us for months. He wanted to feel normal. Average. Nothing special. Things that no one strives for anymore. Pony wanted to worry about homework and dating instead of bathrooms and bullying. He didn’t want the first thing people thought about him to be his gender. It breaks my heart that he needed to hide such an important part of him to experience these things.

We need marginalized people, like the LGBTQIA community, to be louder and more visible. And they need our help to feel safe enough to shine. That’s on us.

All this talk of honesty must seem like one big joke coming from yours truly. And that’s fair—the truth and I have had a complicated relationship. But getting to know Pony and seeing what he went through last night has changed me. His courage to stand up and speak his truth has inspired me. Right here and right now, I am done with the lies.

So, stay gold, Pony. Stay true to yourself when the world pushes against you, when your family doesn’t accept you, even when the girl you want doesn’t want you back. Stay gold because you are exceptional, and everyone will catch up someday. It took me time, but I am here beside you now.

Stay gold, Pony. The world needs you. Stay gold when it’s hard. When it’s lonely. When it’s scary. Especially when it’s scary. Stay gold, Pony, because there are so many people who want to help you shine.

And enjoy watching sunrises.

She looks up at me.

I blink, and tears roll down my face. “That’s beautiful.”

“And it’s been shared three hundred and sixty-seven times.”

She runs her hands through my hair, sending goose bumps all over my body. I lean over and kiss her. And she kisses me back. And for one moment, everything feels like it might be OK. We talk for a bit but eventually fall asleep in that tiny hospital bed. I can’t turn on my side, so we decide that we are two spoons lying flat in a small drawer.

“Hi, honey.” I wake up to my mom’s voice and immediately panic. I don’t want her to see me napping with a girl, but Georgia is safely back in the chair on her phone again.

“Mom, this is Georgia.”

“We met last night. She was very passionate about seeing you. It was sweet,” Mom says with a smile. Georgia stands up, and they hug.

“Good news, Pony. No internal bleeding and no concussion. How about we get out of here?” She starts straightening up like we’re checking out of a hotel