I put it back together again? And by broke I mean, No way to fix it. And by broke I mean doomed to wander.
PERLEY
You can call someone a faggot bastard or you can call someone a developing frontal lobe or you can call someone a little fucking moron but I am against name-calling. I am not a developing frontal lobe. I am not a faggot bastard. I am not a little fucking moron. I am a kid and I am powerful and I am Friend of Snake. It was just we never had people over. That was a whole main part of it.
I mean we’d be driving down the road and we’d wave at every single person and at the gas station we’d trade Mike duck eggs for maple syrup and after it snowed Bexley’s uncle would plow our driveway, and Frank’s kids would smile at me in the IGA parking lot, and we’d stop at the mill sometimes for flour, but that was as close as we ever got. We’d wave at our neighbors on the road and I’d say why can’t they come spend the night? And Mama K would laugh and Mama L would say, Piglet, they probably want to spend the night in their own bed just like you like to spend the night in your own bed. So I would feel like a fucking moron ’cause spend the night is not really what I meant, what I really meant was like eat dinner with us or go exploring or have a campfire, but they never did. The only person who would ever come over was Rudy, even though Rudy was a royal pain in the ass.
Rudy asked me if I wished I had a dad but this is what I wished:
To live where no one knew me, to watch television and have it where even on a rainy day, you could turn on the light at night and not just have a candle. And where my women weren’t snapping at each other all the time and trying to figure out what we were going to eat and sometimes it was gross. Plus they thought everyone was either a little fucking moron or a big fucking moron and I was like wait a minute those people haven’t even had the chance to see how much they totally love us.
What I’m saying is that when that girl came over I wanted to show her my skills. I wanted to show her how prepared we were. I mean for anything. I was proud. And when she took me with her I was brave.
I was brave, but I didn’t look at Mama L, just to make sure I wouldn’t think about how she liked to say, Look, I found a Velvet Piglet in the woods I think I’ll take care of it I think I’ll nurse it back to health. I wouldn’t think about how she liked to hold me and ask, Have you heard the story of the mama who cuddled her Velvet Piglet so much that his head popped?
I pushed that Velvet Piglet feeling away. I was steadfast. I was resolute. If Mama K wouldn’t hear my report, I would find someone else to give my report to. The snakebite made me realize I was special and I was chosen and I would always act with bravery and meet my destiny head-on like a Wolfrider. So even when Mama K tried to pull my arm off and threw me out the door, I knew it was a test. I kept my eyes dry. Even when Mama L called my name I didn’t look around.
I loved my women, of course I did. They were my family. And I loved my tin house where no one knew the password unless I told them. And I loved my home which was the Holt with places that no one knew but me, for example a cave, a cliff, a tree that was a catapult, a dead giant. There was no one I knew who practiced more, who was more prepared. And still.
Rudy asked me if I wished I had a dad and this is what I wished: to be an orphan.
So when the pretty Outside Girl asked me if I wanted to try living with another family I was like hell yes and I didn’t even get in trouble for saying hell.
HELEN
Perley was gone. Lily was on her knees on the ground. Her open mouth was quicksand. Her silence might as