someone to stand up for you,” Helen said. “You needed an ally. Rudy says that I don’t know how to stand up for what I believe in when the time is right. I’ve been working on it. I won’t be a bystander anymore.”
“Being a bystander was never really your problem,” I said.
“That girl had a B.A.? Well, so what? She thinks that’s going to intimidate us? I have a B.A., too,” she said.
“I think you’re what they call an educated fool,” I said.
Perley pushed the Best Practices Binder onto the floor and climbed into my lap. “I don’t see what everyone’s freaking out about,” he said. “That girl probably never met people with such toxically cool skills as us.”
“That’s probably true,” I said.
“I told the truth,” he said.
“Yes, you did,” I said.
“I think I kind of blew her mind. I think she really liked me,” he said.
I smoothed his hair back and dug my chin into his fuzzy head. “Don’t worry,” I said. “Don’t worry, my love.”
“I’m not worried,” he said. “I’m hungry.”
“Let’s eat chocolate-chip pancakes for dinner,” I said. “Let’s eat quickly before Mama K gets home. It’ll be our secret.”
“That girl was obviously totally delusional,” Helen said. “It’s actually really hard to take a child away from their family. They can’t do it just because you shit in a bucket, or because your kid gets a bug bite.”
“A snakebite,” I said.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “Just forget about it.”
“Take me away?” Perley said. “Take me where?”
“Nowhere, Perley,” I said. “Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried,” said Perley. “And I don’t think that girl seemed crazy. I thought that girl seemed nice, and pretty.”
“She wasn’t pretty,” I said.
“She didn’t look like a man. She looked like a woman,” Perley said.
“She was wearing makeup,” I said.
“She smelled good,” Perley said.
“I noticed that, too,” I said. “What did she smell like?”
“New shoes,” Perley said.
“You don’t know what new shoes smell like,” I said.
“Then mustard,” Perley said.
“Salt water,” I said.
“Varnish,” Perley said.
“Pepper,” I said.
“She smelled like after they mow the pipeline,” Perley said. “Or like when we have macaroni and cheese for dinner.”
“We’ve never had macaroni and cheese for dinner,” I said.
Helen scooped up the Best Practices Binder and held it under one arm while she made her way over to the range and turned off the burner. “People get paid millions of dollars to figure out how other people can smell and look in a way that will be completely persuasive to a developing frontal lobe, not naming any names,” she said. She looked meaningfully back over her shoulder at Perley.
“Am not,” he said, pressing his head up under my chin.
“Are too,” Helen said. “You are a developing frontal lobe. Which is why sometimes you are seduced by cheap thrills such as makeup, perfume, and chocolate chips.” She used tongs to lift the deer skull dripping from the pot. She set it to dry on a stack of old newspapers by the sink.
“Karen’s going to be pissed,” I said over Perley’s head. “She’ll say we were stupid to even let that girl in the door.”
“Why tell Karen?” Helen said. “Save her the worry. It’s just that asshole principal trying to scare us. He’s still mad about those fruit trees.”
Perley made his voice small so that only I could hear. “Was that true?” he asked. “Do you need a break? Do you need some help?”
“No,” I said. “Yes. I do need help. I need your help not telling Mama K about the chocolate-chip pancakes, and I need your help not telling Mama K about the nice girl,” I said. “It will only worry her, and like you said, Perley, like you said, what’s the point of everyone freaking out?”
Lord knows how I let him off my lap, how I pushed myself off the sofa to make pancakes. Lord knows how I could wade through the deer guts, the bucket, the brain, to lift the skillet and scrape the last cup or two of flour. Lord knows how I could do it, but I stumbled forward in my rubber boots to try. I added muddy prints to the blackened floor. I reached for the secret stash of chocolate chips. I uncapped the vanilla. And then I knew.
“She didn’t smell like any of those things,” I said. “She smelled like Outside.”
“Holy fuck,” Helen said, in immediate recognition. She’d been to the mall just like I had. Just like I had she’d cut through to the feed store at least once a month, tracking mud past the perfume