course you love everything that I do. That doesn’t prove anything. You are my women and you have to do that it’s the law.
I don’t have to do anything, Mama K said.
I am still honorable, I told Mama K even though she wasn’t listening or if she was listening she couldn’t hear me right. I just needed some time, I said. I practiced. I prepared. Now I’m ready to show them what I’ve got.
* * *
My wound was tight and itchy with an ache on the inside and I wasn’t supposed to touch it but it felt good really good. It felt good when I stepped up onto the bus and the kids were like, Whoooaaa holy shit what’s wrong with your face? and I was like, I got attacked by a snake. That’s what I said. Attacked. And that word made them forget the word faggot and the word bastard and instead their brains became full of the word snake and the word attacked.
You should have seen the snake, I said, it was like a mile long. It was bigger than Madcoil even. Bexley didn’t say anything just looked at me but I could tell he was toxically jealous and when we got to school there was a crowd around me on the playground and I couldn’t even see the outside of it and Bexley couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t believe him, he said really loud. The faggot bastard is a liar.
But this other kid was like, No seriously I seen snakebites and that’s definitely a snakebite but it’s the biggest one I ever seen, and then this other kid was like, Dude, did you die? So why not, I was like, Yeah, I died. I died and then I came back. I have a special power. A special power? the kids asked. Yes, I said. I am Friend of Snake. Evidenced by that they live in my house and they sleep in my bed. Bexley tried to be like, Yeah, one time I got a snakebite, too, but this other kid who was his cousin was like, Yeah, and you cried like a friggin baby. Everyone laughed and I laughed, too, it was friggin awesome. I laughed and then I got real serious and I said, I didn’t cry. Which wasn’t exactly a total lie. I didn’t cry it’s more like I couldn’t make my arms let go of my mamas for an entire day, but I didn’t need to tell anyone that. I felt steadfast. I felt resolute. I looked at each and every one of them in the eye. I didn’t cry, I said. I. Did. Battle.
I had a feeling that the acorn kid would have been able to tell that I was lying, but the acorn kid wasn’t there of course because he avoided crowds. He was like how I used to be before I was so super-popular. He was flanged. Too bad for him. I smiled sadly in a generous way because he was an oppressed minority and lucky for me I wasn’t. Everything was going so well, it just kept getting better and better and I could see the kids almost be like, Sweet, can I come over? Almost, almost, they almost said it, but then I saw my nice teacher Ms. Carroll on the edge of the crowd, and she pushed her way in, and then she beckoned to me is what I would call it. She beckoned to me so she killed my dream of being carried on the shoulders of the other kids, like the conquering hero, Friend of Snake. Instead I was beckoned through the crowd of kids, and they watched me go like I was Tyldak gliding to Blue Mountain which was the principal’s office.
You don’t have to be afraid, honey, Ms. Carroll said. What really happened to your face? And the principal was like, Yes, honey, no messing around, what’s going on here, you can tell us. It was weird because no one had ever called me honey before and all this talk of honey made me want some honey so I was like, Can I have some honey? Oh, honey, said Ms. Carroll, and she gave me a Tootsie Pop. So I felt extremely powerful and I didn’t say anything. Are you worried about being in trouble because you won’t be in trouble, Ms. Carroll said. You can trust us. But I just chewed through the first Tootsie Pop and asked for another one, and