like a giant marshmallow. Then she said the world was rotten to the core it surely was. She said, There was the man at your door saying that they could take your kid and take your house if you weren’t careful and the only way to make money was to work for the same people who said they could take your house, and people were sick, seemed like every week she heard of a new person with bone cancer, people younger than her, people who should have been old-timers but would not make it to old-time status, and it was hard to know what to do or who to blame. And the pastor said to pray so she was praying. That’s what Grandma Barlow said but I said, I’m not sick and Altemonte’s not sick, so maybe we don’t need to take that medicine.
So Grandma Barlow stopped rocking and noticed me again.
It’s those damn snakes, isn’t it? she said.
I am Friend of Snake, I said.
That may be, she said. But you can’t go home until the snakes are gone.
My mamas have tried everything, I said. They can’t get rid of them.
I’ll bet there’s one thing they haven’t tried, Grandma Barlow said.
Then she told me about the ritual.
Then I made her tell me again. Then she told me again. Then I said, Wait, hold on, and I went to my bunk and I got one of my comic books, and then I came back and I asked for a pencil and then I made Grandma Barlow tell me one more time, and I wrote down what she told me on the inside cover of ElfQuest, Book One: Fire and Flight. I wrote down what she told me word for word.
* * *
That week Mama L pushed me on the swing again and the Outside Girl sat far away pretending not to watch us. We chose the swing with the noisy rusted chain. That way we could talk. Mama L said, Tell me about Mrs. Barlow.
She’s basically the nicest, I said. She totally loves god. But still, I’m not her boy. Altemonte is her boy.
Mama L said, Piglet, you’re my boy. My boy and Mama K’s boy. I promise that I’m doing everything I can to bring you home.
When? I asked.
Soon, she said.
Does Mama K have the ransom yet? I asked.
She’s doing everything she can, Mama L said. She’s working very hard.
She threw me, I said. Out, I said. She threw my knapsack. She hurt my arm.
Does it still hurt? asked Mama L.
No, I said.
She loves you and she didn’t know what to do, Mama L said. She was scared. But I don’t want you to be scared.
I’m not scared, I said. That’s not it. The way I feel is another way.
What way? she said. Tell me, Piglet.
I almost told her about the death portal the hole the blank universe but I didn’t want to scare her so instead I just said, I feel like a picture out of focus, like there’s one me and two mes and three mes and I can’t move the way I want to. Like I don’t know how I feel until after I felt it. I don’t want to eat my food even though I’m allowed to eat all the pancakes I want.
I saw that I’d scared her anyway.
You should stop taking those pills, Mama L said.
I kind of knew what she meant, I wasn’t a fucking moron. I kind of knew or else why would I have tried flushing the pills down the toilet, I kind of knew but there were one me two mes three mes, and at least one me got mad at Mama L for telling me what to do. Mama L telling me to stop taking the pills was actually a supremely easy thing for her to tell me.
I said, The pills make me super-smart.
She said, You were already super-smart.
I said, The pills make me so I can do my Specials.
She said, I don’t care if you can do your Specials.
I said, That’s why they took me away. You have to care about stuff like that.
She said, That’s not why they took you away.
What about Altemonte? I asked.
What about Altemonte? she asked.
He takes the pills, too, I said. And he’s my best friend. Our motto is not only excellence but it is also loyalty. The same thing’s wrong with Altemonte that’s wrong with me. He misses his parents and he’s looking for the elf world but it’s very hard to find