could be anywhere. She didn’t owe him anything. His choices were nothing to do with her. She had her own dysfunctional family to worry about. There was no need to buy trouble by getting involved in his as well.
Her hands tightened on the steering wheel. Except she knew what it felt like to have every door slammed shut in your face.
There was no sign of Victor’s car around pub number six. Was she really going to drive all night trying to find him?
She indicated and pulled over the side of the road. At home, she would have driven and talked without another thought. But back home they drove on the right side of the road. “Siri, call Victor.” It went straight to Victor’s voice mail. Just like the previous times she’d tried. She closed the call before it hit the beep. No need to add to the three voice messages and even more texts she’d already sent.
Lacey did the mental math in her head. Night in Oxford meant afternoon in Colorado. “Siri, call Anna.”
She took a few breaths as her connection bounced off satellites all over the globe, finally landing on her friend’s phone. One ring, Two.
“Hey.” Anna’s voice flooded the car interior. “How’s England?”
“Well, Victor slept with Peter’s ex-girlfriend and found out today they have a daughter, and he just told Peter.”
“Wait, what? Victor has a daughter with Peter’s ex-girlfriend?”
“Yup. She’s two or three. But Sabine—that’s the ex—just told Victor about her today.”
“And how did that go?”
“Massive bust-up. Victor left. And now I’m driving around all the pubs in Oxford trying to find him.”
“How can I help?”
“I was hoping that you could maybe say a prayer. I figure I need all the help I can get.”
“You know, Lace.” Lacey could hear the smile in Anna’s voice. “You could always say a prayer yourself.”
A couple of cars drove past. Not Victor’s. “Well, I could, but I figured you would have more weight. Being a regular caller and all that.”
“Yours might get priority, seeing as he hasn’t heard from you in a while.”
Lacey was silent. It sounded so easy when Anna said it. But not even Anna knew what stood between her and God.
“Do you love him?”
“My feelings aren’t what’s important right now.” Did she love him? What kind of question was that, when Victor might be drinking himself into a coma?
“Relax, Lace. I’ve already put in a prayer.”
“How?”
“I’m a mom. Multitasking is my spiritual gift. Now, since I’m going to get the evil eye from Libby’s teacher for being late, can you throw me a bone and tell me why this is so important that you phoned a friend to put in a word upstairs?”
“I …” It was impossible to explain without risking divulging a piece of herself she had guarded closely for years. “I don’t want him to fall off the wagon after all this time. On top of everything else.” It sounded lame. Even to her own ears.
“Okay. I really have to go before I end up in Pre-K mom detention. Let me know what happens, okay?”
“Okay. Give Libs a kiss from me.”
“Will do. And Lace?”
“Yeah.”
“You should try giving it a shot. Prayer. What’s the worst that can happen? Love you.”
Anna was gone before Lacey could respond. What was the worst that could happen? God could answer, that’s what.
Lacey knew how this went. If God answered, then she’d have to work out what to do with it. Just like Rachel. She’d thrown up a desperate prayer of last resort last year that had been answered. And now she was going to church and trying to work out what God wanted her to do with her life.
Lacey knew what she wanted to do with her life. She’d finally gotten the one thing she’d been fighting for for years. More than. She wasn’t going to pray and risk God messing that up with other ideas.
Victor was a grown man. He didn’t need her to rescue him. She’d try one more pub. If he wasn’t there, she’d assume Anna’s prayer hadn’t landed. She’d give up, her conscience clear that at least she’d tried.
She checked the map, set it for the next pub on the list, and started driving again. Ten minutes later, pub number seven showed no sign of Victor’s car.
This had been a fool’s errand to start. Wherever Victor was, he didn’t want to be found, and God didn’t care if she found him either. So that was that.
At least this evening—while it might have created some kind of existential