Start With Me - Kara Isaac Page 0,96

no quick quip, no flirty smile. Just a whitewashed face and clouded brow.

It took her a couple of seconds to recognize the expression. Trapped. He looked like one of her clients when they’d been caught plagiarizing.

“What’s happened?” No point beating around the bush.

“Same thing that always happens.” He attempted half a smile, which made the despondency in his gaze even worse. “One step forward, ten steps back. Story of my life.” He leaned against his car. Lacey joined him, ensuring she kept a few inches between their arms.

She stilled the words of assurance that leaped to her lips. Maybe he was exaggerating. But there was something in the slump, in the way he wouldn’t look her in the eye, that said whatever had happened was about to derail everything.

“When I go in there …” Victor nodded toward the house, “It will probably be the last time in my life my brother speaks to me.”

What have you done now? Lacey checked the blame her reaction carried before it took hold. The blame came from everything Emelia had told her about Victor from years before, not the man she knew.

So she waited as Victor ran his hand through his hair and studied his feet.

“I found out tonight that I have a daughter.”

A child. Dismay rippled through Lacey, but not shock.

“You don’t look surprised.”

Lacey looked up at him. There was no nice way to say this. “You are?” What she really meant hung unspoken in the air. The guy had slept with a lot of women. If it was as many as she suspected, this was just the law of averages playing out.

“I was always—” Victor shoved his hand through his hair again. “God hates me. That’s the only reason for this.”

Lacey didn’t say anything.

“Do you believe in God?”

Lacey tilted her head at the sudden change in topic. “I did once. Now I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I seem to be surrounded by people who do. But I think I’m too much of a control freak. I prefer to be in charge of my own destiny.” It was better that way. Safer. She’d learned the hard way that it was best to only depend on herself. “But my friend Anna would be the first to say God doesn’t hate you.”

“Well, if God doesn’t hate me, what are the odds that out of all the women I could have gotten pregnant, it’s Peter’s ex-girlfriend.”

At that, Lacey’s knees almost dropped her to the curb. “You have a baby with Sabine?” Oh, this was bad. This was so bad.

“You know Sabine?”

Lacey pressed her hands into the side of the car, trying to ground herself. “No, but Emelia mentioned her a couple of times when she and Peter were working out where they stood with each other.” Something made all the more complicated by her cousin having a hidden identity, but that was a whole different story.

Lacey closed her eyes for a second. Peter and Victor’s relationship was fraught at the best of times. When Peter found out that Victor had slept with his girlfriend …

“Ex-girlfriend.” Victor’s sharp correction broke into her train of thought. “I’m the first to admit I was a terrible person, but I never crossed that line.”

“So, when?”

If possible, Victor folded into himself even more. “After they’d broken up. After he met Emelia.”

Somehow Lacey didn’t think Peter would see much of a difference. Given their history, he would still view Victor sleeping with Sabine as the ultimate betrayal, whether it was after he’d met Emelia or not. “But that was years ago. How are you only finding this out now?”

Victor flinched. “I sent her a letter.”

“Why?”

“Step Nine is to make amends. I had a letter I wrote while I was in rehab, but I never sent it. I was never brave enough. And it was such a huge mistake. For both of us. I thought I’d do more harm if I contacted her.”

“So why send it now?”

Victor let out a bitter laugh. “I dared to believe it might be true. That I deserve a second chance. But I knew I had to ask Sabine’s forgiveness first.”

Because of her. He’d sent the letter because of her. Tried to make amends with Sabine because of what she’d said.

“So, she just showed up on your doorstep and told you that you have a child?”

Victor rubbed his face. “No, she didn’t tell me. She wasn’t going to tell me. I saw a photo on her phone screen. She looks so much like me when I was a

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