than anyone else, she’d put up a façade a lot of the time.
Until Victor.
Lacey pushed the thought away as she wrapped her arms around her waist. Her fingers curled into the slippery material. “Because all love has ever done for the women in my family is trap them.”
Anna’s eyes widened a little. Other than that, her expression didn’t change.
“My grandfather abandoned my grandmother, left her with four kids. She became an alcoholic and drank herself into an early grave. My mum worked two jobs my whole childhood, and my dad lost the little money we had on bad investments. She gave up, and now she spends her life on the home shopping network. Betsy got pregnant and let herself be charmed into marrying her dropkick high school boyfriend. I’m the only one who got out. I’m the one who’s keeping them all afloat. And I promised myself a long time ago that I will never never let myself get trapped by a man.” The words fell out of her, one on top of another, like a sudden snowstorm.
Anna tilted her head. “So, that’s why you always date down.”
“What do you mean?”
“All those bland doctor, lawyer, banker types, with their trust funds and nice pedigrees. It was obvious you were never going to fall in love with any of them. That was the whole point, wasn’t it?”
Lacey tried to think back on the men Anna was referring to, but they all blurred together into a generic mass. “I guess. Maybe. Being trapped isn’t just about poverty. I’ve met plenty of wealthy women ensnared by manipulative and controlling spouses.”
“What about Cam? What about Lucas? Do you think they’re traps Rachel and I should have avoided?”
Cam and Lucas were the exception to the rule. Even Peter, with all his flaws, was the best thing that had ever happened to Emelia. Lacey shook her head. “They’re different, Anna. But they’re not the rule. You know that.”
“Okay, so what has Victor done to make you feel trapped?”
Nothing. Victor had done nothing. The feelings tightening her chest were all about what she felt for him and the fear that if she gave in to it, she would never recover.
“Letting yourself love someone won’t break you, Lace. It might feel like it will. Trust someone who knows. But maybe that crack you’re feeling in your heart isn’t a sign of weakness. Maybe it’s a sign it’s finally ready to really let someone in.”
“I don’t know how.” Except she did know how. In the same way someone stumbles across something they’d thought was lost but had really been there all along. Because it wasn’t a crack that she felt in her heart. It was like Victor had somehow split it wide open. Then she said something she had never admitted to anyone. “I’m scared.”
Anna smiled, “It’s okay to be scared. It means that this matters. God will never force anything on you. But you’re the only one who can choose. Faith or fear. What’s it going to be?”
CHAPTER THIRTY
The house looked no different than it had a couple of months ago. Lacey was the one who was different. She’d felt Victor’s presence as she drove, had seen him in the aisles as she bought groceries. She kept turning around, half expecting him to be behind her.
But he wasn’t. And she couldn’t move forward—whatever that meant—without going backward.
The front door opened, and her sister leaned against the door frame, shielding her eyes with her hand. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun, white T-shirt and cutoffs revealing tanned summer limbs. “You need some help?”
“Sure.” Lacey popped the trunk of her red rental car and grabbed four bags, the plastic handles digging into her fingers. When she looked up, Betsy was halfway down the path. “They didn’t have any of the yogurt brand you said, so I got a different one. Still strawberry, though. I hope that’s okay.”
This time she’d emailed ahead. Asked her sister if she could visit, asked what they needed, what the kids liked. Said she was sorry for surprising her with the last visit. Hoped it would be enough to start this visit off right. Accepted she had little control over whether it did or not.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Betsy hefted the last three bags out of the trunk. “Thanks.”
Thanks. Lacey savored the word as she headed up the path and onto the porch.
“Just take them through to the kitchen.” Betsy nodded down the hallway toward the back of the house.