Stars Over Alaska (Wild River #4) - Jennifer Snow Page 0,83

stood firm. “Leslie, I know that everything has been one big mess...but somehow within all of that, we’ve reconnected. More than that, we’ve connected in a different way. I know you feel this too and I know it goes deeper than just the physical.” He’d felt it in her kiss, in her touch, in the way she looked at him. She couldn’t fake passion like that.

She shook her head. “I should never have crossed that line with you.”

“Because you don’t care about me or because you think that us being together is wrong?”

She sighed. “Does it matter?”

“Absolutely, it matters. I know how I feel about you and it’s enough to walk away from...” This was going to really terrify her, but he refused to hold back the truth. “Well, just about everything.”

“Levi...”

He ignored the warning note in her voice and pushed on. This might be the only chance he’d have to say everything he needed to. And if she still walked away from him, he’d have to live with that, but at least he’d know he gave it everything. “Leslie, I’ve loved you for so long, never ever thinking there could ever be a chance for us. And as much as I miss my friend and would give anything to have him back, the reality is he’s not coming back. But I’m here and you’re here and I know we have something special.”

She looked torn as she listened. He was putting it all on the line and he desperately hoped she wouldn’t turn away from him. From his love.

“All I’m asking is that you don’t shut me out again. You don’t leave and never look back.” Because that would break him more than anything else. “I’ve waited a long time for my friend to find her way back to me and I’m not sure I can lose you again.”

She took such a deep breath it felt as though she were sucking in all the air around them. “Levi, I’m not sure how I feel. I know that I misled you and I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry I dragged you into all of this.”

Was she not hearing anything he said? He didn’t care that he’d put his career at risk. He didn’t care that she’d complicated the hell out of his life. “Leslie, you can’t say you don’t have feelings for me.”

She stared at him for a long, excruciating moment and with each second his confidence in her, in them, slipped away.

She lowered her head, her gaze on the ground. “I’m sorry, Levi. I never meant to hurt you,” she said as she moved past him quickly and disappeared inside the cabin.

Levi shut his eyes, feeling all his energy drain from his body, all the fight leaving his soul. He was open, raw and vulnerable and unlike before when he’d held it together by holding it all inside, he had no idea how to mend this new version of his broken heart.

* * *

IF SHE COULD leave that night, she would. The faster she could get out of there, put some distance between herself and Levi and the million emotions clouding her judgment, the better.

What had she been thinking being with him? Giving in to her attraction? Pushing aside all consequences and living in the moment often led to regrets and mistakes. He was neither but unfortunately, without reassurance from her, he was bound to feel like both.

Damn.

It had been unfair to him to let things get out of hand and his words ringing through her mind had her feeling worse and worse. He was right. She did have feelings for him, but she had no idea how deep they ran or if they were something she could continue to act on.

He’d said he was ready to give up everything for her.

That terrified her. Because what if she wasn’t ready to do that for him? What if she wasn’t ready to let herself be fully committed to someone ever again? Keeping her guard up had helped her ignore the ache in her chest, helped her forget what it was like to be in love with someone. To be vulnerable to heartache again wasn’t something she was ready for.

Going into the living room, she heard Levi’s truck engine revving outside and fought every urge to go after him. This was for the best. They both could use some space right now.

“Where’s Levi going?” Selena asked, eyeing her carefully.

“I don’t know,” she said. She swallowed hard before saying, “But good news, they’ve