to go on because I believed that he would be able to control himself and not do anything that the world would regret. But the cestus changes things.”
“Why?” Helen asked, suddenly perking up. “I’ve always worn it, and he’s always been able to control himself. And I didn’t exactly make it easy on him, either,” she added with regret. “But from now on I won’t pressure him, and that way we can still be together, right?”
“And then what?” Noel pleaded gently. All the anger had gone from her once she saw how invested Helen was, how much Helen cared. “You could both stay true to your word and never touch each other, but what do you think that will do to your relationship over time? What do you think it will do to Lucas?” Noel paused and looked at her hands in her lap.
“It’ll be hard, but we know what’s at stake. . . .” Helen began, trying to bargain.
“I’ve already been told that I’m going to lose my daughter to madness. I can’t lose my son as well,” Noel interrupted, her eyes wide with fear. “Please, Helen. I’m begging you. Stay away from Lucas. If you get a little distance from each other, maybe he’ll be able to let you go before it’s too late.”
“You’re talking like I’m going to drive him crazy or something,” Helen said, frustrated. Noel gave her a piercing look that warned Helen not to belittle the situation.
“The cestus isn’t some silly love potion you can buy at the county fair. This is a relic from the goddess of love herself, and if you don’t think it’s possible for someone to be driven mad by love, it’s only because you haven’t truly felt it yet.”
“Then I’ll take it off. . . .”
“You will not,” Noel ordered. “The cestus has probably saved you more times than you can know. Do I need to remind you again how important your life is?”
They sat staring at each other for a few moments while Helen struggled with her thoughts. She’d read the Iliad, and she’d hated Paris and Helen as much as Lucas had. She saw them as selfish. So selfish that they were willing to watch a city burn to the ground rather than part. But was Helen Hamilton any better than Helen of Troy if she wouldn’t give up the man she wanted when it was required?
“Why didn’t anyone tell me this before?” Helen burst out.
“Lucas forbade it. He said he wanted a little time and a little privacy, and no one blamed him for that. Relationships are private things.”
“But we’re not allowed to have a relationship, are we?” Tears tried to make hot puddles out of her eyes. “This isn’t fair.”
“I know it isn’t,” Noel said, brushing a lock of Helen’s hair behind her shoulder so she could see her face.
“Are none of us are allowed to choose?” Helen said, thinking of Cassandra and what she had to suffer. Her whole body was clammy with nervous sweat and starting to shake. How could she stay away from Lucas? She didn’t think she could make herself do that any sooner than she could make one of her hands shrivel up and fall off.
“Castor and I tried to choose differently,” Noel said sadly. “We tried to run away just before Lucas was born. We wanted a fresh start so badly that we didn’t even give him a traditional name.”
“So what happened?” Helen asked, desperate to keep Noel talking and maybe learn something that might give her a reason to hope.
“What always happens,” Noel said with a knowing smile. “Family.”
Helen sat still for a moment, unwilling to stand up for fear that it would end the interview and therefore end her welcome in this house. She knew from witnessing everyone else’s obedient reaction that what Noel said in her kitchen was law for the entire family. Helen had always thought that Noel was the weak one, the one who needed protecting, but she was beginning to realize that Noel had a power all her own. When it came down to the matter of who was to be accepted into the family and who was denied hospitality, Noel had the final say for everyone who lived under her roof. Not even Lucas would be able to break away from that without being forced to leave his entire family behind. Helen had been denied Noel’s blessing, and that was the end of it.