the Olympics, but her heart hadn’t been in it after everything that had happened when she graduated from high school. Still, water was the one constant in her life, from her time before Adam Scott and his cronies raped and nearly killed her to now. She was certified in water search and rescue and had recertified earlier this year.
She had to find a way to ignore Agent Laughlin, but the more she thought about him the more she realized that something was up with Kate. Kate had said Bureau politics, and Lucy wanted nothing to do with jockeying for power. She just wanted her badge and a position. She’d earned it, and she couldn’t let someone else’s game stop her.
And then there was Harden, who had forced her into the center of attention yesterday. But Harden had to be tough on them because it was his job to make sure they were all fit when they left. It wasn’t personal with him.
As she realized the difference between what Harden did yesterday and how Laughlin made her feel today, she realized that it was personal with Laughlin. That she’d solved one problem but now faced another, bigger issue irritated her. She swam harder, focusing on the fluidity of the water, her breathing, and her strokes.
And she realized that in the back of her mind was the murder of Rosemary Weber.
What if she was digging into my past? What if she planned to write a book about what happened to me?
No one Lucy cared about would have talked to the woman and so much about what had happened to Lucy was still sealed, but that didn’t mean Weber couldn’t have made Lucy’s life a living hell trying to dig up the facts. And because Lucy’s rape had been shown on the Internet, there were still digital files out there. She’d never truly be free of her past.
That Weber had been murdered left Lucy feeling guilty, with relief that was short-lived. Rosemary Weber wasn’t the only true crime writer out there. What if she had a partner? What if her notes were passed on to another writer?
There was nothing Lucy could do to change what might happen, and that, coupled with the watchful eyes of Rich Laughlin, had combined to throw Lucy off her game today.
She couldn’t let it happen again.
Her 32 on the range was her own damn fault, not Laughlin’s or Kate’s or Rosemary Weber’s. Lucy had allowed Laughlin to get into her head. Ninety-three was her best, but she would work her ass off to get a perfect score. She’d match the soldiers in her class as if she’d been trained in the military herself. When the real test came up, she was going to ace it, because she knew she could do it. She had to.
If she allowed stress to affect her shooting or her ability to handle physical challenges like the pull-ups, she didn’t deserve to be an agent.
After twenty laps of regular strokes, she flipped and did ten laps of backstrokes. Her muscles burned and she realized she’d slacked off on her swimming regimen. She used to be able to do the backstroke with ease, but it used different muscles, muscles she hadn’t used in a long while. She finished her workout with two easy laps and climbed out of the pool. Her heart raced; she felt invigorated and alive.
That’s when Lucy felt Harden looking at her.
“What?” she asked.
“You’re good.”
“I know,” she said, then added modestly, “I was on the swim team in college.”
He nodded. “Could have gone to the Olympics, had you wanted.”
“If you knew, why’d you ask?”
“Why didn’t you?”
She shrugged. “Not sure I would have made it. I never tried to qualify.”
“You don’t seem like a quitter to me.”
She didn’t like that he was trying to analyze her or her motivations.
She grabbed her towel and dried off. “Can I speak freely, sir?”
He nodded.
“The pull-ups yesterday were unfair and unwarranted. Were they a test? To see how I handle stress?” Maybe that was Laughlin’s game as well—to see how she handled the pressure. But then what were he and Kate arguing about?
Harden shrugged, looked like he was going to walk out without saying anything, then changed his mind. “You’re smart enough to get through these nineteen weeks. You’re physically fit, and I have no doubt you’ll pass the PT test with one of the top scores. But the Academy is not just about written or physical tests. Neither is this chosen career. Don’t ever forget it.”