Kate blinks a few times, taking a shaky breath and goes on. "I see. Well, I married very young, too young. I was a lovesick fool, and your grandfather was a good-for-nothing. We got married when I found out I was pregnant with Ronald, and not long after, your mother was born. Your grandfather left us. Here I was, all on my own, with two little ones. I moved back in with my parents, which was a nightmare because now, not only was I a disgrace, I was also divorced. In those days, that was a very bad thing."
As I listen to her speak, she never slows her pace, needles clicking. Row after row of, well I'm not quite sure what she is making, but am amazed at how fast she goes with barely a glance down.
"Living with my parents was awful. Trying to get out of their house is what had pushed me into the arms of your grandfather in the first place. My mother watched your mother and uncle while I went to work. I managed to scrape enough together to get my own place. My mother kept watching them while I worked but at least I was out of their house. I waitressed and worked like a dog. It was not a life I would wish on anyone, but somehow I made due. Once your mother and uncle were old enough to keep watch of themselves, I stopped taking them to my parents. Happy to once and for all be free of them, I also swore off men. I had plenty sniffing around, but men led to babies and I had enough of those already." Kate motions for me to pass her unfinished plate to her. Setting her knitting on her lap, she takes a bite of her muffin and puts the plate on the seat next to her.
Once she finishes chewing, she goes on. "Your uncle Ronny was a bit of a trouble maker. He was always up to no good. Anne tried to keep up with him, but Ronny was almost two years older than her and your mother was on the small side, even as a child. I was at work when it happened." Kate pauses again, setting her knitting in her lap once more to pick up a napkin to dab the corners of her eyes. Tears keep forming so she looks up at the ceiling and blinks rapidly before going on. "Ronny had built a fort out of old boards he came across on his escapades, high up in an oak tree. It made your mother so angry that she was so small and couldn’t climb up there with him. She used to sit cross-legged at the bottom of the tree and wait for him to come down. While I was at work one day, a board broke, and Ronny fell out of the tree. He landed right in front of your mother and broke his neck."
Kate sets her knitting to the side and grabs her cane to stand. Placing one shaking hand on her hip, she randomly pats it. "Your mother didn’t leave him. She was too little to understand that he was dead. It was maybe hours later when I got home from work and went looking for them. When I first saw them, it just looked like Ronny was lying on his belly looking at a bug or something." Kate takes a deep breath and starts pacing slowly along the pool deck, still patting her hip with her hand, almost like setting a rhythm for her words to follow. "I didn’t think anything was wrong until I saw Anne crying. I started hollering at Ronny to get up and Anne just looked up at me shaking her little face, saying ‘Mama, mama, mama.’ I fell to my knees and turned him over. He was lifeless in my arms, already cold, and heavy. I think people heard me screaming because the next thing I knew my father was pulling me off of him and my mother was holding Anne."
Kate takes another napkin off the tray, and after wiping her eyes, blows her nose before sitting back down. I am oblivious to my own tears as I sit next to my grandmother and put my hand on her arm. I want to hug her but feel uncertain, having only met her the day before. Kate reaches a hand up to wipe the tears from my eyes and