trembling as his adrenaline dropped. There was glass all over, furniture toppled, the floor lamp on the floor, its shade crushed.
“Hey.”
“Oh God.” Fitz jumped, his heart in his throat.
“It’s okay. Just me,” Jack assured him softly.
Fitz turned to him and froze. “Is that a gun?” With everything going on, Fitz hadn’t noticed it, but then Jack had also been wearing a jacket. “Oh my God, you brought a gun into my house?”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Jack said gently.
Fitz could feel the last of his resolve snap. “Why do you have a gun?”
“Sometimes the job requires it. With everything going on, King thought it would be a good idea to be cautious.”
“Get it out of my house.”
“Fitz—”
“Get it out of my house!”
Jack held his hands up in front of him. “Okay. I’m sorry. I should have asked. I have a gun safe in my car. I’m going to go lock it up, okay?”
Fitz nodded. He dropped down onto the couch, his hands covering his face. What the hell was happening? How had he gone from his quiet, uneventful life to… this? He was a hairdresser. He loved being a hairdresser. Stalkers, fistfights, blood, violence, guns… This wasn’t his life. He could have been killed in that car accident, and now that same person—because he knew it was them—had been at his home. What if Jack hadn’t showed up? What if they’d had a gun and killed Saint, or Chloe, or Theo? His thoughts went back to Jack and the way he’d hit Clint. What if Jack hadn’t stopped?
“Fitz?”
“I just…” He moved his hands to his mouth and shook his head, then lowered his hands. “You could have killed him.”
Jack took a seat next to him on the couch, and Fitz jumped to his feet.
“Wait. You really thought I was going to kill him?”
“You scared the hell out of me. I mean, I had an idea of what you were capable of, but I never thought…”
“I admit, I hit him harder than I should have, but I wasn’t going to kill him.”
“But you could have.” Fitz made himself meet Jack’s steel-gray eyes. “If you wanted to, I mean. You were trained for that sort of thing.”
Jack’s jaw muscles flexed, his eyes momentarily dropping to his fingers before he lifted his gaze back to Fitz’s. “By ‘that sort of thing,’ you mean kill. It’s okay to say it, Fitz. I’ve killed people. Is that what you want to hear?”
The words made Fitz flinch.
“I was trained to protect myself, to protect my brothers-in-arms, to protect others, and yes, to use lethal force when necessary. The places we were sent to…” Jack shook his head and closed his eyes. “They wanted us dead, and they tried their hardest. During one mission, they succeeded. Six of my brothers, gone. Good men. Did I fuck up tonight? Maybe. Am I aware that I can be considered a threat because of my training? Yes. We’re all aware. We also know what we’re doing. Some people think we shouldn’t be allowed to run a private security company. Hell, the fact that we have former military under our employment who are actively seeing mental health professionals has been used against us in court.”
“What?”
“Oh yeah. A former client took Red to court, saying it was Red’s fault he lost his business. That because Red was seeing a therapist, he wasn’t mentally capable of making sound decisions and because of Red, he lost his business, when in fact his business partner embezzling is what caused him to lose his business. Red never got an apology, by the way.”
“I didn’t mean to imply—”
“That because I was honorably discharged after half my unit got blown up in front me that I could snap at any point and kill someone? That when faced with violence I can’t stop myself? That my military history means I’m more prone to violence or more likely to hurt someone? It’s okay. You wouldn’t be the first to think that.” Jack stood, and Fitz wanted to go to him, but he didn’t. “I’m sorry. I should have discussed my past with you sooner.”
“I knew you were in the military.”
“But you didn’t know it was still a part of me. Not really. No one does until they’re faced with the reality of it. I shouldn’t have assumed…”
“Assumed what?” Fitz asked quietly, the room so silent Fitz could have sworn Jack could hear his heart pounding.
“Nothing.”
Fitz took a step forward. “What?”
“I shouldn’t have assumed you could handle it, and not because you can’t,