to start drinking?” Jack murmured, earning himself a smile from Joker.
“Hey, it’s happy hour somewhere, right?” A mischievous look came into Joker’s blue-gray eyes, and he clapped his hands together before rubbing them. “Come on. We’re off for the rest of the day. Let’s get into some trouble.”
Jack shook his head in amusement as he followed Sacha out of the elevator. With Sacha around, there was little chance he’d get to dwell on Saturday. Jack refused to worry about it. It’d be fine. Just another charity event. He’d been to hundreds. So what if Fitz would be at this one, probably looking gorgeous? It’d be fine. Jack could handle it.
Six. Zero. One.
Six was the number of times Jack had tried to get out of this damned bachelor auction. Zero was the number of times he’d been successful. One was the number of asses he’d be kicking, namely Ace’s ass.
“Come on, man, you’re going to look smoking hot,” Ace had said over the phone during Jack’s last attempt to back out of tonight’s events. Jack would never admit it, but the tailored charcoal-paisley tuxedo looked good on him. The cut was flattering, accentuating his shoulders and waist. He still felt constricted, though.
“What the fuck!” Joker’s tirade of curses made Jack cringe.
The door to his bathroom slammed open, and Jack almost choked on air. He quickly recovered by coughing into his hand.
Leo chose that moment to walk into the bedroom, holding his bow tie. “Jack, do you have—oh dear.” He spun on his heels the moment he saw Joker and walked back out.
“Oh dear” didn’t begin to cover it.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Joker fumed. “Why do you look all suave and sophisticated, and I look like I’m about to go on a fox hunt through the countryside with the fucking Queen of England!”
Jack tried hard not to laugh. So very hard. Okay, he might not have tried at all. He doubled over laughing until his face hurt and his side cramped.
“I’m going to fucking murder him! I mean, we all knew that one of these days I was going to end up in prison because of him. I just never thought that this”—Joker motioned to his red-and-black Victorian-style suit—“would be what did it. I like Colton, I do, but his fiancé isn’t going to make it to the wedding.”
“Perhaps the tails are a bit much,” Jack said, trying to regain his composure.
“Oh, perhaps? You think? Perhaps thou should kisseth my ass.”
Jack waited until the redness left Joker’s face before asking, “Did it come with a top hat?”
“It did, and you know what I’m going to do with it? I’m going to shove it up—”
“Everything okay?” King asked, poking his head into the room. He swept his gaze over Joker, and something weird happened to his face. Was he in pain? He looked like he was in pain. He cleared his throat and put a finger to his lips, then opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Closing his mouth, he pointed behind him and left.
“When the reporters come to interview you and ask you if you ever thought I was capable of murdering one of my brothers, you make sure to point out what I was wearing when the murder occurred.” He reached into his jacket and pulled out something black and round. Smacking it against his arm, the top hat popped open. He shoved it onto his head and thundered out of the room. Jack had to close his eyes and reach deep, oh-so deep, to get a grip, or he might just piss himself from laughing.
It all made sense now. Jack had wondered why King offered to pick them up for the auction. He and Leo then showed up early, with Leo stating he’d need help with his bow tie, as neither he nor King knew how to tie one. Jack hadn’t bought it. Leo could hack his way into the Pentagon, but he couldn’t figure out how to tie a bow tie? Granted, it was Leo, but still. Now it was obvious. The only one capable of getting Joker out of the apartment wearing that suit was Leo. Joker bitched the entire ride to Sapphire Sands and threatened Ace with imminent death, but he did it in his classy tails and top hat. He was a pair of shiny black boots away from looking like he belonged in an episode of Downton Abbey.
Jack had to give it to Ace—he was a sneaky shit. If something needed