Fitz took a seat at the counter as Colton removed several items from the fridge and started putting together a cheese platter for them while Laz whipped them up some more cocktails.
“Jack is different,” Laz admitted. “I thought the same thing about Red. I can’t imagine loving anyone else. Being with him is amazing, but sometimes it’s hard, and heartbreaking. What these guys lived through?” Laz shook his head before he lifted his gaze to meet Fitz’s, his eyes glassy and a sweet smile on his face. “He needs love, Fitz. He needs to be reminded every day that he made it out alive, that King is alive and so are the rest of the guys. Loving him will be easy. The days he doesn’t love himself? Those are hard.”
Fitz nodded but didn’t reply. That was part of the problem, and maybe it was selfish on his part, but Fitz had never dated a soldier, much less one who had been through what Jack and his friends had been through. What if Fitz couldn’t help Jack when he needed it?
In the last two years since Laz had come back into Fitz’s life, they’d been closer than ever. When Laz needed someone to confide in, he turned to his brother, Gio, and Fitz, so Fitz was aware of the good and the bad that came with being in love with one of the Kings. Because of Laz, Fitz knew more about the guys than most people, and although he didn’t know intimate details, he knew enough to hesitate where Jack was concerned. He finally had the peaceful life he’d always wanted, and he doubted it would remain peaceful if he dated a former Green Beret who worked private security with a family of mayhem-magnets. Hell, not one of the Kings or their guys hadn’t been shot or shot at. Fitz despised guns, but that was a whole other issue.
“I know we keep pushing you to call Jack,” Colton said gently, “but it’s only because we really believe you two can have something special, but you have to be willing to accept all of him.”
The idea of letting Jack down hurt Fitz’s heart, and he hated the feeling. Then there was the possibility of Jack breaking his heart, and if their track record with relationships was anything to go by, the odds were not in Fitz’s favor. Jack was one of those guys who was too good to be true. Handsome, sweet, talented, and so damned smart. He raised money for charities and, with his friends, looked out for the families of their fallen brethren. He was a protector. A man of action. The most excitement Fitz saw these days was finding his favorite ice cream was in stock at the supermarket.
Fitz toyed with the stem of his empty margarita glass. “Sounds like a lot of drama. Which, might I remind you both, is the reason I left the fashion world behind and opened my own salon.”
Laz and Colton exchanged glances. “Right,” Laz drawled. “Because your salon and the queens you work with is drama-free.”
Clearly his friend needed more alcohol. “It’s a different kind of drama.”
“He’s worth it, Fitz.”
“I’m sure he is. I just don’t know if I want to risk my heart like that. I’m not as brave as you two.”
“Not as brave?” Colton asked, offering him some grapes, which Fitz accepted just so he had something to do with his hands.
“Aren’t you scared of letting Ace down?” He glanced over at Laz, who watched him intently. “Of letting Red down when he needs you most?”
Laz nodded. “Of course, but I won’t let that define our entire relationship. Communication is key, and we talk about everything. We both do our part. I’m not saying it’s easy or that every day is sunshine and candy hearts, but then there are the days when I get home exhausted from a shoot, the kitchen smells amazing, and I walk in there to find him singing along to one of his awful disco songs. He turns around, and the smile he gives me, the love in his eyes before he walks over and crushes the breath out of me in one of his big bear hugs as he kisses me like he can’t breathe without me…” Laz let out a happy sigh that Fitz envied just a little. “It’s everything.”
“That sounds nice,” Fitz admitted with a grumble. Who didn’t want their own happy ever after? Fitz’s issue was that he no longer believed in