Spotlight by Eden Finley Page 0,49

then you ended up babysitting me instead.”

“I don’t mind.”

“It’s not fair—”

“Ryder, I’m here for you. We’re friends. I saw the look on your face when Maggie showed up. I wouldn’t have brought her if I’d known.”

“No, no. You did the right thing.” The frustration I felt when I first saw Maggie is back. It builds in my gut and grows, rising to my throat and making its way out of my mouth in a grunt.

Lyric flicks the blinker and turns into the entrance of one of the many hiking trails up here.

“Where are we going?”

“I can’t pull over anywhere else up here.”

“Pull over for what?”

He parks the car. “This. Get out.”

“Lyric—”

Before I can stop him, he’s out and rounding the car. He beckons me to do the same.

I open the door. “I don’t really feel like going for a hike.”

“We’re not hiking.”

I approach him. “Then what are we—” I’m engulfed in Lyric’s warm arms.

The parking lot is empty, and this trail isn’t overly popular, so I melt against him, not caring that someone could come up here at any moment.

“You looked like you needed a hug.”

I’m not prepared for this.

His embrace releases all the tension, all the misplaced anger over something that’s supposed to be happy, and I end up a heap of dead weight in his arms.

Lyric holds me close and doesn’t bring up the fact that I’m trembling as if it’s freezing when it’s actually eighty degrees out here.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No,” I croak.

He lets out a small laugh. “Okay.”

I pull back just enough so I can look up at him while not losing the warmth of his body against mine. It feels right to be here, standing close to him and wrapping myself around him.

“Sorry.” Both for my train of thought and for basically holding on to him for dear life. “Maggie coming home always messes me up.”

“You said you’re friends, though?”

“We are. It’s complicated.”

“Want to uncomplicate it for me?”

I force myself to step back from him. My ass hits the hood of the car as I lean against it, and he mirrors the position next to me.

“Maggie’s a great mom. When she’s home. She often can’t tell me where she is when she’s deployed, so it’s basically impossible to get ahold of her, and as you saw the other night, it’s hard for Kaylee. So, when she is present, this black cloud of dread hangs over me because I know she’ll be leaving again soon, and I’ll be the one who has to pick up the pieces.”

“That’s rough.” Lyric’s words are comforting and validating even though sometimes I think I need to suck up my issues with Maggie.

I was the one who wanted to take Kaylee full-time, so I shouldn’t complain that I’m the only one Kaylee has. “I don’t even think that’s the worst part. The worst part is, even though I anticipate Maggie leaving every time, there’s a side of me that wants her to stay, and sometimes I wonder if that would be worse.”

“Why’s that?”

“It’s always the same thing. I fear Maggie will regret the time she’s missed out on with her child and want to see more of her. Which she has every right to do. But in my mind, it always ends with lawyers and court-ordered custody agreements. What if Maggie sees me with Kaylee and realizes she made a huge mistake letting me raise her on my own? Courts basically always side with mothers, and it’s not like I’m giving Kaylee the most stable life. What if—”

“Ryder …” Lyric reaches for my hand. “You’re the best dad I know. I know you doubt that a lot, but it’s true. There’s no way a court wouldn’t be able to see that.”

“Even if her photo is splashed all over the tabloids because of me?”

“That’s not your fault.”

“I don’t think a judge will see it that way.”

He can’t say anything to that because he knows it’s true. “Do you really think Maggie would take her away from you?”

I sigh. “No, I don’t. It’s just another one of those fears I’ve had since becoming a father. You know, some days I wish for it? I know that’s horrible and bad to say, but I want a break. Then the thought of Maggie wanting her permanently makes me want to hold on tighter. Shit.” I rub my chest. “It makes my heart sore.”

“It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. What if Maggie took Kaylee for a couple of days? It’ll give you the break