Spotlight by Eden Finley Page 0,28

is a big deal. Ryder Kennedy was sexy as fuck before I knew he was queer. Now that I know, he’s heartbreak-worthy. Because let’s face it, he’s way out of my league.

He’s a celebrity. I’ve never really bought into that thing where celebrities are above everyone, but it’s definitely a different lifestyle. One look at this house tells me that.

He said he had a thing with Cash-fucking-Kingsley like it’s nothing notable.

I don’t actually know why I decided to play it cool.

I am so not cool.

Not with this.

I want to know more.

I want to know everything.

Now it’s been days, and I don’t know how to bring it up again.

Since it all came out, he’s been more relaxed around me. I mean, not that he was ever super uptight, but I don’t know. Something has changed.

Or maybe it’s my perspective on the whole situation. The very few times I joked about being gay or mentioned Kaylee’s GI Joes kissing, he shut down a little. I thought it was because he wasn’t entirely comfortable with me being that vocal about my sexuality. But it turns out that wasn’t his problem at all. It was his reservations about me finding out.

Which I also get.

I can understand why he doesn’t date and why he’s kept it from the public.

But damn, that’s gotta suck. Especially with a daughter who’s probably too young to understand.

It has to be lonely.

Don’t start fantasizing about making him un-lonely.

I just wish I’d asked more.

“Oh, hey, by the way, please tell me everything about your sex life because I’m unhealthily obsessed with it since I found out you bat for my team.”

That would go down so well.

I also can’t stop thinking about Ryder and Cash together. It’s both hot and a little guilt-inducing because it’s objectifying my boss, and I really shouldn’t do that. That would be bad.

So bad.

Like he might have to spank me bad.

And there I go again.

Fuck.

Okay, professional mode.

I can do this.

Ryder comes from the direction of his office and over to where I’m tidying the kitchen after making Kaylee lunch.

Damn, he’s hot. All spikey brown hair and bright blue eyes.

Shit. I can’t do it.

It’s like my brain had put Ryder in the hot but unattainable part of my mind which allowed me to appreciate him but not go beyond that. Now, he’s probably still unattainable but not for the same reasons. Which means my brain has gone into creeper, check him out every chance I get mode.

Oh God, I have a crush on a dude who was in a boy band.

Kill me now.

Oops, there I go judging again too.

I’m a mess.

He approaches me with a weird smile on his face that I can’t help but return, but when he slips a piece of paper in front of me with Cash’s name and number on it, my face falls.

“What’s this?” I know what it is, but I don’t understand why.

“I was wrong to tell Cash you were straight, so I called him and told him I lied, and he told me to give you this. If you want to go out with him, which it’s clear you do, then you should call him.”

“I—”

“Although, I should warn you, he’s not the relationship type, so if that’s what you’re after, he’s not the guy for you.”

I stare at the number. “How is it clear I’d want to go out with him?”

“Oh, I don’t know, the way you looked at him? Sorry, gawked is probably a better word.”

“I gawked at you like that the day we met. It’s how us normal folk stare at celebrities.” Totally wasn’t checking you out the exact same way. Nope. It’s the celebrity thing. Yup. Celebrity thing.

Totally.

For sure.

Ryder’s eyes narrow. “Are you seriously telling me if Cash Kingsley asked you out, you’d say no?”

Ask me that a few weeks ago, I would’ve said “In what world would I ever get the chance to meet Cash Kingsley?” Now, I can’t even believe it’s an option to go on a date with him.

“I don’t know how to feel about dating my boss’s ex. That’s weird. Especially when said boss is the one setting us up.”

“Cash isn’t an ex. Just a friend who I happened to have one weak moment with. And I’d like to think I’m more than your boss. I mean, right? We’re best friends, aren’t we?”

“Oh sure. Now you throw that in my face.” I laugh.

“Well, all I know is I was never this chatty with any of Kaylee’s other nannies.”

“Why not?”

Ryder shrugs. “Maybe because when she