Three blinking dots appeared on the DM screen. He was writing more.
That came out wrong. Sorry. I meant to say, I think this would be good PR for me too. You know, socializing with the fans.
That was more what she’d expected of a man like him. A well-intentioned, good-natured, but ultimately surface-oriented publicity stunt.
That makes sense, she wrote.
More dots, this time blinking for several minutes.
Fair warning, April. If we do go out, it’ll probably end up in the tabloids, or at least a few online blogs. So if you’re protective of your privacy, you might want to turn me down. If so, my feelings won’t be hurt.
She bit her lip. I’ll need a few minutes to decide. Is that okay?
Of course, he answered. Take all the time you need. It’s still morning in Spain, and I’m not flying out until late this afternoon. I’ll be around for a while yet.
Okay, now she was dying to ask him questions about the sixth season and the show’s finale. Obviously he’d been sworn to secrecy, but surely a man that slow on the uptake might let at least one or two details slip?
A new message appeared on the Lavineas server. BAWN, reassuring as always. No worries. I’m dealing with a few unexpected issues myself. Besides, I’ll be around for a while yet.
She huffed out a breath, amused by the way BAWN had randomly, inadvertently echoed Marcus, the man whose character BAWN had written about in dozens of fics.
Should she tell him what had just happened?
No. Not yet.
She hadn’t even decided for certain whether she’d accept Marcus’s invitation, and she wasn’t ready for her Lavineas friends to see her in the flesh. Soon, but not now. Not when she had so many other decisions to make and considerations to weigh.
Thanks. I’ll be back soon, she wrote BAWN.
Climbing out of bed, she checked in the side pocket of her suitcase for a fresh notebook. She did her best thinking on paper. Always had.
Along the way, she grabbed a pen and refilled her bedside glass of water. Propped once more against the wooden headboard, she tapped the ballpoint against the first blank page and acknowledged the obvious.
If she wanted to stop hiding, she couldn’t have found a more efficient means of exposure.
Assuming tonight’s thread hadn’t done the trick already, a date with Marcus Caster-Rupp, a world-famous television star, would make her face and body and shipping interests publicly known. At least in some circles. And she knew enough about the Gods of the Gates fandom that she could already see the blog post headlines. The kind ones, anyway.
Gates Fan Accepts Date with Actor of
Her Dreams; Nerdgirls Rejoice!
A Fangirl Scores a Star: And on This Day,
a Million Modern AUs Were Born
@Lavineas5Ever, Stan Icon for the Ages
Which reminded her: The Lavineas server was going to freak out, if the hysteria hadn’t already begun. It probably had, since most of her friends followed Marcus on Twitter. Thank God she hadn’t checked the server’s main chat threads yet.
If they knew @Lavineas5Ever was also Unapologetic Lavinia Stan, and that she was tempted to turn down a goddamn date with half of their OTP, they would fucking annihilate her.
Well, since she’d already made her public debut as a fangirl, she might as well do it right. Might as well spell out everything she needed to do, all the parts of herself she intended to expose to sunlight.
In bold, block letters, she titled her page: ENVIRONMENTAL GEOLOGIST, REMEDIATE THYSELF.
Some of the parts of her plan she’d determined on the drive home today and over the past few months, but others she’d list now. Including the most painful bits.
Say yes to Marcus. Publicly.
Without being obnoxious about it, merge the personal and professional at work. Stop fearing exposure. (Remind self of terrible folk trio as necessary.)
Share Twitter handle and identity with Lavineas friends. Wear earplugs when doing so, as squealing may be heard from space.
Attend Con of the Gates. Meet Lavineas friends and let them see what I look like in person. Even B
At Con of the Gates, enter cosplay contest.
Chewing on the inside of her cheek for a moment, she paused.
No, she was going to add everything. She’d said she would, and she was no coward.
Address fat-shaming in the Lavineas community, even though it might alienate BAWN my friends.
Decide what to do about Mom and Dad. Once I’m sure, tell Mom in person.
Immediately dump any man who wants to change me and/or doesn’t seem proud to be with me in public.