Splintered Memory - By Natascha Holloway Page 0,50

known these things without him ever having to tell her.

In the months since the accident, even though he hadn’t technically been alone – as Charlie had still been in his life, the isolation and desperation had at times been more than he could bear. He hated god, and Charlie, for making him endure this.

He had been walking nowhere to begin with, but as he lifted up his head to try and shake himself from his emotional turmoil that he was feeling he recognised instantly where his feet had carried him. He was outside Rich and Bex’s house.

It seemed that just as when he’d been a kid and his feet had always found their way to Rich’s parents house, as an adult he’d maintained the same ability and he could still always find his way to Rich’s when he needed to.

Rich was shocked to find him at his door as he opened it, and he asked; “don’t you normally work Saturdays?”

“I need to come in,” Matt replied.

“If this is about last night,” he said as he opened the door wider for Matt to come in; “then yeah maybe I could’ve been more sensitive about the whole Charlie thing.”

“Is Bex home?” Matt asked walking straight down the hallway and into the kitchen.

“No, she’s out shopping,” Rich answered. Walking into the kitchen and standing on the opposite side of the breakfast counter from where Matt was stood, and eyeing his best friend with scrutiny.

“I’ve fucked up,” Matt said not looking directly at Rich.

Rich didn’t respond, but he continued to scrutinise his best friends face.

“I slept with Emily,” Matt said still not looking at Rich.

Rich again didn’t respond, and Matt found his temper rising at his best friends seeming indifference to what he was telling him. He looked up at Rich and said; “I slept with someone else, someone other than Charlie. Aren’t you shocked, angry, disappointed even? Aren’t you going to say something?” He asked angrily.

Rich still looked indifferent as he said; “you’re not going to want to hear what I’ve got to say.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Matt retorted angrily shocked at Rich’s reaction to his confession. “I can take it. Call me a twat, a fool, a shit husband. I can take it, and it’s what I deserve.”

“I don’t think you’re any of those things,” Rich said.

Matt felt like he’d just been hit in the face with a cricket bat.

“How long has it been since you last had sex?” Rich asked, and then catching Matt’s eyes started to laugh. “Okay, I’ll re-phrase that as clearly that came out wrong. Obviously it wasn’t that long ago, but what I meant was that you and Charlie haven’t been you and Charlie since before her accident. You may have been living together, but you haven’t been living together as man and wife. And all I mean is that a man can only go so long you know?”

“But its Charlie,” Matt said imploringly; “it’s me and Charlie.”

“But it isn’t though is it? She’s not your Charlie,” Rich said; “and you two haven’t been you and Charlie since she came home.”

“You’ve changed your tune,” Matt said suspiciously.

“Oh come on man. I’m getting married and my fiancée and your missus are friends. I don’t think Charlie’s the same as she was before, but the girls want to believe that she is. I think Bex is scared to death that if this ever happened to her, that I wouldn’t be able to take it. I think she’s terrified that I’d leave her. She needs to believe that you and Charlie can make it,” Rich said almost ashamedly.

“Would you leave her?” Matt asked.

It took a couple of seconds for Rich to reply, but when he did he looked deeply ashamed. “Yeah,” he said; “yeah, I think I would.”

Matt looked into Rich’s face, and he felt shocked.

Rich looked back at him and said; “I don’t know how you’ve coped. I feel for Charlie and everything of course I do, but I just don’t recognise her or know her anymore.”

Matt couldn’t believe where this was coming from, and he couldn’t take his eyes off Rich’s.

“I’ve known her for as long as you have, and I’ve shared certain things with her in the past you know? But seeing her like this, unable to remember nicknames and jokes from our past! It’s just too hard, it’s too damn depressing. And seeing you with her is just fucking awful. The way you look at her. It’s no wonder Bex is messed up over it,”