Spinning Out - Lexi Ryan Page 0,29

prerequisite to the activities they’re truly interested in. Brogan’s kisses are an effort to slow down time, to memorize the shape and taste of my lips. Under his mouth, I’m not some townie crashing the college kids’ party. I’m something to be cherished.

He doesn’t climb on top of me or try to snake his hand up my shirt. And when I part my lips, he only briefly touches his tongue to mine before pulling away and drawing in a ragged breath. “I’d love to hear you sing sometime,” he says, and I blink at him for a minute before my eyes can focus on his blue ones. “Would you mind?”

“I think I’d like that.”

Grinning, he finds my hand and laces our fingers together. “It’s a date.”

Part III: After

May, four months after the accident

Mia

Mrs. Barrett meets me at the door and wraps me into her arms before I have a chance to say hello. She’s a large woman—as tall and as broad as her son, and her hugs bring my face right into her bosom. “Have you been praying for a miracle, Mia?”

“Every day,” I whisper. “Every single day.”

When she pulls back, her eyes are filled with tears, but a hopeful smile covers her face. “He’s having a good day today,” she says, leading me to the back of the house. “You know how much he loves sunny days.”

“Spring is his favorite.”

The click of her heels against the dull hardwood floors echoes off the ceiling. Mrs. Barrett and I don’t talk about the past. We don’t talk about the fact that before the accident, she wouldn’t acknowledge me as Brogan’s girlfriend—that she objected to his dating someone she deemed so beneath him, and regularly thwarted his attempts to be with me. We don’t talk about the nasty things she once said to me.

We’re bonded by this tragedy and our love of Brogan. If she blames me for being there that night, she’s never said so. And if she doesn’t blame me . . . well, I’m sure she’d be the only one.

She opens the doors to the three-season room and motions me toward the big, sunny space where Brogan sits during the day. He’s strapped into his wheelchair, eyes at half-mast, mouth hanging open.

“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me,” she says, before leaving and pulling the doors closed behind her.

I walk over to him and touch his face. It’s swollen from the edema, distorting the features I once loved so much. His body is gaunt after months of muscle atrophy have eaten away at the solid mass of a man he once was.

“Good morning, handsome.” I press a kiss to his cheek before picking up his hand and holding it in both of mine. “I saw Arrow this morning.” Hanging my head, I squeeze my eyes shut, remembering my argument with Brogan on New Year’s Eve, the betrayal in his eyes. “You think I don’t see the way you look at him?” But even as angry as he was with his best friend, I know Brogan wouldn’t want to see Arrow destroy his life. He’d want better for him. “It’s good. His house arrest will keep him out of trouble. It’ll help him get his head on straight.”

Swallowing hard, I lift my hand to Brogan’s jaw. “I think we’re all screwed up. And I know we all miss you.” My eyes burn with unexpected tears. Seeing Brogan doesn’t normally make me cry, but now that Arrow’s back, I feel like someone who’s never known she was blind and was suddenly given sight. Seeing Arrow makes the world too bright and loud and painful. All I want is for the dark numbness to return. It’s easier that way.

I sit with Brogan for almost an hour, holding his hand and thinking, avoiding my return to Blackhawk Valley. When I can’t put it off anymore, I go to the kitchen to find Mrs. Barrett.

She wipes down her already-clean counter. The house is modest, but always spotless. After the accident, the Barretts sold their house and moved to Indianapolis to be closer to his doctors. Caring for Brogan in the home like they do has exhausted their savings, and I’m sure they’re racking up more debt by the day, but the Barretts never complain about money.

“Have you remembered anything else about that night?” she asks.

I shake my head. “I’m sorry.”

“The police are sick of hearing my voice.” She releases a humorless laugh. “I keep calling to see if they have any new

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