Spiked by Love (Bellevue Bullies #6) - Toni Aleo Page 0,73
the door and go to the couch, dropping down onto it. I look through her contacts, finding my brother since I don’t have his number memorized. When I hit his name, he answers on the fifth ring.
“Hello?” he says all gruffly.
“Hey, whatcha doing?”
“Asher?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sleeping, you asshole, like a normal person does at three in the morning.”
“Okay, well, that’s a little dramatic. You’ve called me real early in the morning.”
“Because I was in New York and time zones are confusing.”
“Okay, so we’re even. I need to talk.”
“At three?”
“At three.”
“Ugh, what? Did your other eye fall out? Did you get into another fight with Nacho?”
I scoff. “No, but I slept with his ex, who is also my best friend and now…my girlfriend? Shit, how did this happen?”
“No fucking way. I don’t believe you.”
“Why do you think I’m calling you from her phone?”
I’m met with silence. “Holy shit, you did?”
“Yeah,” I say and almost proudly. “Dude, I don’t know why I waited so long. I could have avoided all that time with Jasmine.”
“I’m impressed. I never thought you would find the balls to do it.”
I roll my eyes. “What does that mean?”
“Means you like being in an easy, comfortable, and controllable situation, and this is not that, my brother. This is adding sex to a solid relationship that didn’t need sex. This could mean ‘Oh no, real feelings.’”
I exhale heavily. “I know. I’m terrified.”
“Jesus. I can’t stand you,” he says, exasperated. “You gave me so much shit to leave my fucking-around ways behind, yet you have never ever felt anything for anyone.”
“That’s not true. I cared for Jasmine.”
“Cared for is not love, Asher. You only wanted to marry her because she liked Star Wars and made good food. You never loved her.”
“I know,” I admit. I feel like such an ass. “I wanted to, but I didn’t. I’ve never told anyone that. I think I’m high.”
He scoffs. “You’re not. You’re just feeling things you’ve never felt.”
I let my head fall into my palms. “I know, and I’m freaking the shit out. Make it better. It’s your job.”
“Want my advice?”
“Yes. That’s the reason I’m calling.”
He pauses, sucking in a deep breath. “You need to tell Ally you’re scared because, with her, you could fall in love. You’ve probably already been in love with her, but you’ve told yourself it’s in a just-friends way. And now, it’s about to be different.”
I close my eyes. “She’s going to think I’m a fucking idiot.”
“Well, that’s a given. We all do,” he says simply. “I mean, you had everyone fooled with Jasmine but me—”
I lift my head and glare at the wall. “You only know because you got me drunk right after she dumped me.”
“Maybe so, but everyone knows you have real feelings for Ally. Unlike you, we can’t all ignore the sparks that fly between you two.”
“So many sparks,” I agree, swallowing hard. “They’re intense.”
“Exactly, and with Ally, it’s all or nothing. There is no hiding feelings or ignoring them or not wanting them. You will feel them, and you will have to learn to give that part of you to her.”
“She won’t understand,” I say slowly. “Shit, I don’t even understand why I’m like this.”
“You’re cautious, Ash. Everyone knows this, just not to the extent I do. But you crossed that line with Ally. Now, you have to own up to it.”
“That’s what Mom said in so many words. I don’t think she knows—”
“She does,” he says simply, and I narrow my eyes. “I told her, and I bet if you ask Dad, he’ll say the same. We all know Jasmine was someone you thought was safe and easy, and that’s why you ignored all her lesbian leanings. But like I said and will continue to say, with Ally, it’s going to be way different. And I pray, for your sake, you’re ready.”
“Why for my sake?”
“Because losing her would break you, dude.”
I press my lips together and close my eyes. I know he’s right, I do, which is why a part of me just wants to let it be and see what happens. She doesn’t have to know that; I don’t want to seem like a freak to her, because I’m not. I try to act normal, but I keep my heart on lock. While Aiden was out fucking whatever moved, I found someone I liked and stuck by her. Jasmine was safe. She wanted the things I wanted, and it was easy to tie her down. I didn’t soul-deep love her. I’ve never soul-deep loved