this. My body is definitely speaking for my mind right now, and my actions are completely ridiculous. Regardless, I’d rather not respond to his question, but mostly because I don’t know how to respond to it. I’m supposed to believe a woman should present herself in a particular way, like a lady at all times. I do not feel much like a lady right now, that’s for sure.
His body is moving against my hand harder and faster, and I do my best to keep up with his pace, considering the awkward angle I’m sitting at. I squeeze my hand gently as I continue the movement, making him more vocal then he’s been since this began. I’m worried Cali’s going to hear what’s going on in here, but I also know she’s a deep sleeper.
“It’s coming, doll. Either move or hand me something,” he says.
Well, that’s a gentlemanly thing to do at least. Landon didn’t usually warn me. While I’m considering a proper plan of action, remembering the fact that I’m half naked from the waist down, I don’t move in time. Warm liquid drips over my leg, gliding off into the toilet between my thighs. For another reason I can’t understand, this turns me on even more. What is this man doing to me? I should not be in this bathroom with him. I should not be flirting with him. I shouldn’t have grabbed him in the kitchen earlier. And I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t have a drink in his presence, ever again.
I hear a thud against the wall as a pile of toilet paper lands in my lap. “Sorry, I tried to give you enough warning.”
“It’s okay,” I reply quickly. “I’m the one who didn’t move.”
“Here,” he says, “I’ll turn around so you can pull your pants up and stuff.”
I close my eyes, knowing I will regret this deeply in the morning, but right now I don’t think I want to consider my feelings six hours from now.
Standing up from the toilet, I pull my pajama pants up and pivot so I’m facing him. Leave, Sasha. Don’t do anything else you’re going to regret. I don’t know whether or not he knows I’m standing here because it’s so incredibly dark, but I give it a second. I shouldn’t be giving it any seconds. He only clears his throat, though. I think I might be making him uncomfortable so I place my hand on his side letting him know I’m still standing here. His body jerks in response. “I’m sorry for everything I said out there, sort of. I don’t exactly think highly of a man who sleeps around so much, but you shouldn’t think that’s your only option.” His hands find my hips in response, and he pulls me into him as he wraps his arms around me. Okay, I’ve apologized. Time to go!
“Thank you for relieving my blue balls,” he says softly, seriously. “I owe you one.”
“You owe me one of what?” I question, wondering what he might say in return. I know what he’s going to say in return. I should stop encouraging him.
“Something that makes you feel better, I guess.” Yup, I knew he’d say that. And that is exactly what my body wants right now, but I know better. I should know better.
“It’s been six months since someone touched me.” Whoa! Hey now, why would I say that?
“What?” he chuckles questioningly. “You were with that dickwad up until recently.”
“I know,” I sigh. Mine and Landon’s lack of a life between the sheets should have been a clue to tip me off, but it wasn’t. I was just plain old dumb. I’m plain old dumb right now, too.
“Well, what can I do to fix that?” he asks, his voice holds a lot of hesitation, more than I’d expect with this open-door invitation.
I pause, thinking for a long minute. Do I stay or do I go? My mind is out the door…my mind has been out the door, which means it’s not here to stop me from saying, “What do you do if a girl has the equivalent of blue…you know.”
“You can’t even say balls?” he says against my ear.
I close my eyes and rest my forehead over his left pec, which is much harder than I thought it would be. “No, I can’t.” Nor should I have touched them. They’re kind of nice, though.
“What would I do to fix blue balls in a woman?” he purrs in my ear. His words make my skin crawl, but