I was tired and my brain was slow, but it finally clicked.
“Oh, another baby?”
He nodded and kissed me.
“Well, then, let’s get to work,” I said with a wink, running a hand down his torso. “We might have to try a few times,” I warned with a grin.
“We can try every day until it happens.”
I moaned and leaned in to kiss him.
All I Want…
Xander Collins
1. Lawrence
“Dude, what are you doing? You have class at nine, don’t you?”
I rolled over onto my back, squinting at the light coming in through the window, then over at my roommate, Carl. ”Ugh, what time is it?”
“Um,” he said, looking at his watch. “It’s nine now.”
“I guess I’m missing it again, then.” I rolled back over on my side and started to drift to sleep almost instantly.
“Isn’t this, like, the tenth time you’ve skipped this semester?”
I lay there with my eyes closed calculating all the times I’d woken up too hungover to make it to my first class on Monday morning. “Fuck, I don’t remember. It can’t be ten, though. There’s no way.”
“Well, whatever. It’s been a lot. You better talk to your professor and see if you’re even passing the semester.”
Carl was right. I had missed way too many classes already. Showing up late wasn’t much better, but I knew I had to do something or I was totally screwed. This was the last week of classes. There was already snow on the ground, and the holiday break was just days away from starting, so my time to make anything up was disappearing fast. I kicked off my covers and moaned as I rolled onto my back again.
“What’s the deal?” he asked. “I thought you liked creative writing—that it was the main reason you were even going to college.”
I sat up in bed and rubbed my temples. “I do. I love the class, and I really dig Professor Lewis. I don’t know. I’ve just had a hard time getting there lately.”
“Do you think it has anything to do with how much you’ve been partying?” Carl asked with a laugh.
I picked up my pillow and threw it at him, but it missed him by at least two feet.
“Or maybe the fact that you have the hots for your professor?”
“Hey!” I yelled, then looked around and found a wadded up ball of dirty socks. I threw them at him and hit him right in the chest. “That’s my business!”
“Yeah,” he said. “You used to tell me all that stuff, but you don’t anymore. All you do is go to parties and skip classes. What’s going on?”
I got up and pulled on some jeans, then found a mostly clean T-shirt and put it on over my head. “I don’t know. I’ve just been going through it lately.”
“Going through what?”
I stuffed my laptop into my backpack, grabbed my water bottle and a half eaten protein bar, then headed for the door. “I don’t even know,” I said as I left the room.
But that wasn’t the truth. I did know what was going on. I just didn’t want to talk about it. I was kind of sick of thinking about my stupid problems, because, in the grand scheme of things, they didn’t really seem like problems and all. They just felt like silly drama I had been spinning around and around in my head. Especially considering some of the real problems people around me had—like not having the money to pay rent or bills, or not being able to feed their families. Compared to those people I had it easy.
But it didn’t feel that way at all.
The thing was, I would’ve gladly switched places with any of those people with families to feed or mortgages to pay. At least they had someone to share their deepest, darkest feelings with—not to mention their lives. They had someone to hold hands with on long walks while they looked at Christmas lights and decorations. They had someone to sit in front of a fireplace with. They had someone to hold and keep them warm at night.
As I made my way down the residential streets on my way to campus I checked out the decorations and lights on the houses that I passed by. Winter was my absolute favorite time of year, especially when there was snow on the ground and everything was decorated for the holidays. I passed by outdoor trees that were sprinkled with brightly colored balls, and houses with