find Sami lingering as if waiting on Jess, and think, Never gonna have that again, pal.
If he never gets it again, neither do you, girl, my inner libido weeps.
On that note . . .
“Time to go, Katie bug. This fairy needs sleep.” I point at myself, and Katie’s eyes light up. I toss her cone in the nearby trash bin and reach for her hand, but she lifts her arms. She’s too big for me to carry for too long, but I don’t want to deny her.
“I’ll take her,” Jess offers. He reaches out for her, but Katie shifts away from him, stepping toward me, so I scoop her up. I don’t meet his eyes because I imagine her rebuff hurt his feelings.
“Where are you going?” Gabe calls after me as I step in the opposite direction of Nana’s. “I wanted to walk you home.”
“I have her,” Jess calls out, answering for me. In fact, he turns to face Gabe for a second. I don’t twist to see what transpires but instead continue in the direction of Jess’s house.
“Oh, the pissing match with the A.G. continues,” Tricia teases as she walks next to me.
“A.G.? Don’t you mean O.G.? Original Gangster,” I correct.
“Nope, we call him A.G. for Asshole Gabester.” She giggles, and I can’t help but laugh along with her. My thought is poor Gabe, only I don’t feel too sorry for him if he helped Jess’s wife leave him. There must be even more to that story, but I’m not privy to the details. More secrets.
When we arrive at the Carter family home, all the lights are on. Jess caught up to us, but I follow Tricia’s lead into the house and carry a very sleepy Katie up the stairs despite her weight. Jess steadies me with a hand at my back. When we get to the second floor, he steers me to a room at the end of the hall. He reaches around me to open the door to a bedroom and then guides me to another door within the room.
The second door opens into a tandem room, which is overwhelmingly pink. Katie’s space has a twin-size bed covered in a pink patchwork quilt, a small nightstand, and a princess lamp that gives off a soft glow. Jess pulls the covers back before maneuvering out of the way, and I lay Katie down on the bed. She rolls toward the wall, and I reach down to remove her tennis shoes. I turn to Jess and mouth pajamas, but he shakes his head. He covers Katie with the patchwork quilt and kisses her sticky cheek. It’s sweet and intimate, and I feel like I’m intruding when he says, “I love you.” I step back, preparing to exit the room and give them a moment, but Katie shifts in the bed.
Her eyes meet mine. Her little thumb points to her sternum. Then she crosses her arms over her chest like a giant X before pointing her index finger at me.
I love you, the gesture signs. I love you, she said.
To me.
My heart patters and pings around in my chest like a loose pinball. My fingers shake as I raise my arms and sign back as I speak. “I love you, too.”
My eyes meet Jess’s, and the normal denim blue color has turned to deadly midnight. He turns back to his child and reaches for her head to brush back her hair and kiss her one more time.
The image before me is too much. I want that.
Her silent words were too much. I want that, too.
Emotion slams into me once again.
I turn and head for the outer room. I make it inside and almost out to the hallway when a hand covers my upper arm.
“Don’t,” he commands, and I spin to face him.
“Don’t what?” I hiss, keeping my voice low.
“Don’t love her.”
“Why? Because of Sami?” I argue.
“No, because you plan to leave.”
I gasp. Tears prickle my eyes, but I’m too angry to cry. How dare he tell me who to love? I realize it’s his daughter, and it’s unfortunate and perhaps inconvenient that it’s happening, but I won’t let him tell me who I can and can’t love. A child. A man. Or a family.
“Let’s not do this,” I say with an eerie calm as a sob chokes my throat. “There’s nothing between us anyway.” I twist from his hold, turn for the hall, and rush down the stairs. The screen door slams behind me as I exit the house and