Sparks - Wendy Higgins Page 0,85

to the apartment and fixed the sink, then stayed the night.

“I told you I would fix that. You should have let me.”

“Silas, you’re a slam-clicker. We’ve never been able to get you to hang out. And if it makes you feel any better, he wasn’t able to fix the tiles so that little project is all yours.”

He pursed his lips.

It was my turn to jab at him. “What was it like to be in the passion pit with Beth?”

“Is that what you call that creepy little room? I was in a bad place to let her pull me in there.” He finished off his beer. “What happened next? After he went back home?”

“Before he arrived, his fiancé called me.”

“Shit.” He sat back again, and I continued, telling him everything. I got choked up when I came to the part where Shawn called me and told me what was happening.

“So, yeah.” I wiped underneath my burning eyes and sniffed, blinking away the moisture. “But he’s not married yet. They’re so up and down, you know? I can’t help but think…” I cleared my throat and picked up my napkin to wipe my mouth, not meeting his eyes. Regret roiled in my gut. Silas tilted his head, and I wished I could take back those pathetic words.

“You’re still going after him?”

“No. I just mean, there’s still a tiny chance that the situation could change.” I shrugged.

“Harlow.” His voice razed over me, filling me with shame at what I’d admitted.

The waitress came up and I gave my flight attendant smile. “Separate checks please.”

“Would you like a box?” She pointed at my barely-eaten salad and I felt bad for being so wasteful.

“No, thank you.” When she walked away I forced my eyes back to Silas, who was glowering at me again. “What? I’m not hungry; I can’t help it.”

“He doesn’t deserve you. He’s been leading you on this whole time, keeping you as his back-up plan.”

“No.” I shook my head, not believing that at all. “He’s not like that. There’s a real connection there. I don’t think he was ever expecting his fiancé to actually want to get married and move. He really thought they were over.”

“He knows her, probably better than anyone,” Silas said. “He had to know she was the jealous type and that if she found out about another woman wanting him it would make her get serious.” I shook my head again, but he went on. “Think about it, Harlow. It was a win-win for him, either way.”

My stomach turned. I could see how Silas saw it that way. Kind of like how I could only see the negative aspects of Natalie and Jacquie. And maybe it did give Shawn a sense of comfort that he would have a woman one way or the other. Either the mother of his child, making them a complete family of three, or the exciting, younger flight attendant who he could have adventures with. But I truly didn’t believe Shawn wanted to hurt either of us.

The waitress brought our checks and we both put down cash. When she walked away, Silas asked, “So, if their wedding ultimately gets cancelled, and he wants you back, will you be with him?”

My mouth went completely dry as I looked at Silas. I wanted to lie and say, “I’d have to think about it,” when really, I knew I’d say yes right away. I’d run to Shawn. I’d be on the first flight to him.

Silas nodded. “Okay.” I opened my mouth and closed it again. His eyes were drooping at the edges again. God, he looked so hurt. How had this happened? One stupid freaking moment of weakness had literally ruined everything between us. First, I’d let us have sex. Then I’d let him take me on a date when he’d been separated for mere days. And all the while I had feelings for another man. I was the worst. I’d been so worried about getting hurt, and here I was doing the hurting now.

“Silas. God, I’m so sorry.”

“We should get going.” He stood and slid his wallet into his back pocket.

My stomach felt like it’d been punched with an iron fist. I followed him from the restaurant, shrugging into my jacket and pulling it tight against the cool Pennsylvania night as we walked through the lot.

“If he decides he wants you,” Silas said. “Be sure to let him know you fucked another man in the meantime.”

I stopped and faced him, aghast at his attitude and feeling defensive.