Sparks - Wendy Higgins Page 0,83

Me compared to her. Shawn choosing his ex over me. Causing a rift between Silas and me too big and deep to overcome. The wall I’d built that still stood between us. I hated that wall, but it was necessary for my sanity and well-being. It was all too much, too fast. I opened my eyes.

“I can’t. Not yet.” My voice was dry, my heart hidden deep behind those protective shields. Because the truth was, I was the only person who could completely protect me. Silas, as much as I knew he cared, was not in his right mind. I had to make better decisions for myself. It was one thing to be attracted to Silas and appreciate the sexual-tension between us, but I couldn’t walk headfirst into heartbreak again. Not when I didn’t even have full closure from stupid Shawn. “I’m scared,” I admitted. “I need time.”

“I understand. I won’t push you.” To my relief, Silas didn’t get upset. Instead, he gently took my hand. For several minutes he held my hand in his, turning it over, both of us watching as he ran his thumb along my palm and felt his way up each and every finger. It was intimate and deep, and in that moment I felt connected to Silas in a way I’d never been connected to a man.

His eyes lifted and he watched me as his fingers stroked my palm. His intensity and steadiness were heady things to take in—I let myself get lost in him for a moment. When he finally released my hand, I felt heavy with sensuality, confused and warm. If he asked to kiss me, I would have said yes. If he asked me to climb onto his lap, I would have climbed.

But he didn’t ask any of those things. Because Silas was a gentleman. And he’d just shown me what a real date should feel like. Something had quietly shifted with us tonight and it was both terrifying and thrilling.

I cursed our horrible timing.

The following day I was scheduled to fly with pilot Heather and Silas. Sigh. I couldn’t escape him. And truth was, I didn’t really want to. As much as his attention scared me, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t flattering. Part of me felt very protective of him, and I liked keeping him near, making sure he was okay.

There were downfalls of being near him too, though. Like how I noticed pilot Heather admiring him when he wasn’t looking. I mean, who could blame the bitch, but still. I liked her. She’d been in the Navy, then gotten herself out of an abusive marriage. The way she held herself with confidence and independence at forty—I hoped like hell I would love myself that much in another sixteen years. But I didn’t want her getting cougar-y with Silas.

When we were all checking into the hotel that evening I overheard her ask Silas, “Want to grab a bite?”

My stomach flopped over like a dead, rotting fish and my hearing went Marvel character-sharp as I listened for his reply.

“Thanks, but I have plans.” He denied her. Wow.

“Of course,” she said. I glanced over to see her give him a polite smile and head toward the elevators.

After a pause, I walked casually toward him with my key card.

“What room?” he asked.

“202.” We headed to the elevator, went to my room, checked it out, and then stared at one another, the tension blooming just as it had in the cockpit. We could so easily do some tearing-off-of-clothes right now.

Silas cleared his throat. “Dinner? There’s a restaurant across the street.”

Surprise made me blink. These were his other “plans?” I nodded. “Okay.”

“Let’s change and I’ll meet you downstairs in ten.” I nodded again, because apparently I was too stupid to live or speak. He held his pilot’s hat and inclined his head good-bye.

This didn’t have to be weird. I mean, we had to eat, right? Things felt overly-proper between us after our date, which I’d been afraid of.

Down in the lobby we gave each other stiff greetings and walked together in silence across the road to the restaurant.

“I’m paying for myself, okay?” I said after we ordered. “No arguing, please. You bought me a cheesesteak.” I smiled but he gave me a bit of an annoyed grimace.

“If you insist.”

“I do.” I entwined my fingers in my lap. “How are things?”

“Tense, but fine. I’m learning more and more about what happened with Jacquie. One of the guys was actually a friend of