Sparks - Wendy Higgins Page 0,80
she said. “I did try to fuck him, but he wouldn’t do it. And it was kind of nice to see you lose your shit and go psycho, because maybe I’ve been a little jealous of you or something. So, you’re forgiven.”
My lips parted in surprise, and I heard Willa snort. She covered her mouth, but it was useless. She bent over and started full on laughing, which caused a chain reaction until all of us were laughing our asses off.
“I’m going to make breakfast,” Beth said. “I have eggs, bacon, and a thing of cinnamon rolls. My treat.” We all shared surprised expressions as she began bustling around, and I realized it was her way of extending an olive branch.
Holly brought a vodka and orange juice over to me and kissed my cheek.
“Let the day drinking commence!” Rhea said.
I couldn’t stop obsessively checking my phone. I stared at the screen as I took my seat on the shuttle that morning. Another long day lay ahead. Another overnight trip. Another hotel room. Alone. Would I see Silas? My abdomen contracted with nerves. I needed to distract myself. What was it about men with names that started with S? Did I have an S fetish? Silas. Shawn. Ugh…Shawn. This line of thinking was not distracting me the way I’d wanted.
Every time I thought of Shawn a prickle of panic threatened to rise, as if he hadn’t made his choice yet, or he might come to his senses and change his mind. I had to remind myself that scenario was over. My first thought when I woke this morning was of checking job openings for Omega Skies in Japan. Over and over my emotions rose and fell like a swooping, sickening roller coaster as my hopes crashed into reality, which then smashed into a wall of denial and flattened into bleak reality again.
In five days Shawn and Natalie were to wed. A horrible part of me hoped like hell he would realize he loved me before it was too late. I could make him happy. I knew I could. And I would love Bennett. I squeezed my eyes shut. I had to stop thinking about it.
But now it wasn’t just Shawn on my mind. I was kind of hoping to hear from Silas. What did he think about me and about what happened between us? Was he still talking to Jacquie? Would they get back together? I pulled up her online profile as I rode the shuttle. I felt a little dirty stalking her. There hadn’t been any pictures of Silas in two weeks, and no mentions of him. But the most recent picture was of her full lips in a sad pout. “Going thru some stuff,” the caption said. “Life can be so hard. We’re all human tho, right? #forgiveness #secondchances.”
I scrolled through the tons of comments trying to cheer her up. I wondered if they’d say the same things if they knew she’d cheated. One of the comments said, “Get your hottie hubbie to cheer you up.” Her response was, “I wish. He’s on the east coast.” And they said, “Go see him!”
“No!” I looked up after I’d hollered and saw everyone on the shuttle staring at me. “Sorry.” I pressed my lips together and turned off my phone.
Ugh, these men. I couldn’t think straight!
I was in a brain fog as I entered the terminal, and nearly had a heart attack when Silas jumped out from the café and held a coffee out to me.
“You can’t say no,” he told me as I pressed a hand to my chest. “I already bought it.”
I exhaled and took it, softening at the hopeful look on his face. I took a sip and smiled. “Thank you.”
We walked together toward the crew room rather stiffly and I concentrated on the ground in front of me, glad to have an excuse not to look at him.
“We’re flying together today,” he said. “I hope that’s okay.” Meaning he’d requested me again. Butterflies raved inside of me for half a second until nervousness rose up and sprayed them with Raid.
“Of course,” I said, as if our friendship were exactly the same as it had been before I got a taste of his delicious testosterone.
“We’re getting in before seven and I was thinking maybe we could hang out. There’s this cheesesteak I’ve been craving.”
I stopped and he stopped too, looking down at me with that hopefulness again. What was he doing? Asking me on a date? I didn’t