Sparks - Wendy Higgins Page 0,44
they stared at me. My heart was racing.
“I didn’t mean inappropriately,” Rhea said. “I just meant, like, you could touch his shoulder, in a friendly manner, and he wouldn’t budge. But if one of us touched his shoulder, he would shrug away or move.”
Holly nodded, and I felt like I was going to puke. I pressed a hand to my stomach. “It’s not like that.”
“We know,” they both said. So, then, why were they saying it? What was the point? They stood simultaneously, moving forward as if to calm me, but I pulled away. I didn’t need these thoughts. I didn’t want any of this.
“I’m going to bed.” I speed-walked down the long hall, past all of our clothes.
“It’s only eight—” Holly began, but I closed the door hard and fell onto my pallet. Vio was humming something off key as she sat on her bed, so I shoved my earbuds in.
Silas was my friend. Maybe he felt more comfortable with me than the other girls. He knew I would never make a move. He trusted me to keep it professional, and it bothered me that my closest friends felt like there was something deeper going on there. God, I felt so gross. And whatever this thing was with Shawn, I needed to end it tomorrow when we talked. I couldn’t do this anymore.
I fumbled in my plastic drawers and pulled out my bag of CBD gummies. I shoved two in my mouth, then plugged my phone in, set my alarm for four AM, and rolled over, chewing hard.
A group text came through from Holly with Rhea on it. I’m sorry. I swear I didn’t mean anything by it.
Rhea immediately texted as well: Me too. I know you guys are just friends.
I’m sorry, you guys, I said. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m feeling too sensitive.
It’s okay, Holly wrote. Get some rest.
I felt awful for getting so defensive. I put my face in my pillow and inhaled the lavender oil Cheryl had sprayed. Screw this day and the one before it, and the one before that too. Exhale. Tomorrow was a new day and I was going to make things right.
My stomach was in a tight knot when I rolled my bag into the Omega Skies crew room. I spotted Silas down the hall talking to a handsome, middle-aged pilot I assumed was going to be our captain today. Silas looked dapper in his navy slacks and white dress shirt with a navy tie. His sleeves were rolled to his elbows. He could be the poster boy for the airline.
Silas glanced down the hall and his whole face lit up when he saw me. It made my insides light up too, just as it always did, but now there was a new awareness that made our relationship seem less innocent than it was before yesterday. I gave him a small wave and sidestepped into the lounging room with all the recliners and couches. I sat in the first chair and put my face in my hands. I needed to analyze these feelings quickly before we set off for the day.
We were friends. Good friends. His face always lit up when he saw me after being away a few days. And my reaction was the same happy feeling I got when I saw one of my girls after we’d been apart. A friendly feeling, and that was okay. It’s okay, Harlow. Nothing weird or wrong was happening here. Just because other people might see it and misinterpret it doesn’t mean I have to let that affect me. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“You okay? Headache?”
I dropped my hands and looked up at Silas, his brow furrowed.
“Yeah, just a little groggy.”
“I know the problem.” He waved his hands at my hands. “You have no coffee.”
I nodded because he was partially right. “I was running a little late and didn’t have time.” I wasn’t going to tell him I ran out of pods and couldn’t get more until Friday. Until then I’d be drinking airplane coffee, which was a good brand but sometimes tasted like it’d been sitting around too long.
“We’ll get you some on the plane,” he said brightly. “Time to hop to it.”
God, he was such a morning person.
He tugged my high ponytail and I reached up to tighten it before following him down the hall. That touch meant nothing. Completely innocent. I let out another slow breath as we walked, feeling better, because everything