Sparks - Wendy Higgins Page 0,109
the same page. It took all of my will-power not to jump his bones right then.
“Wait.” I gently tugged my skirt back down my thighs and looked him straight in the eye. “Can we talk?”
“Okay.” He was completely at ease with a hint of amusement in his eyes.
“What are you looking for, Silas? From me? From this?” I felt my pulse thumping under my skin, in my ears and my throat.
He gave a small nod. “It’s strange. I feel like we know each other so well that you wouldn’t have to ask him me this, but you’re right. It needs to be verbalized.”
“I know you’re a loyal relationship guy,” I said. “But you’ve also been through a lot. Maybe you need some time to date? Or you don’t want to rush? I just need to know up front.”
Again, he nodded, his eyes searching my face. “And what would you say to that? If I needed to date? Or if I want to be fuck buddies?”
I tensed, disappointment like acid in my gut. My friendship with Silas had endured a lot. If I told him I didn’t want those things, as much as I would feel initially sad, I loved myself enough now to be okay with it. And eventually we could be friends again. Maybe it would always be a little weird, but I could live with that. What I couldn’t live with was giving my body and heart away to another man who couldn’t do the same in return.
I steeled myself. “I would say that if you need to date, you should. But I won’t be part of that rotation. And if you want to be fuck buddies, with no strings attached…” I thought about it seriously. “I would say no.”
His eyes narrowed with curiosity. “And why is that?”
I shrugged. “I guess I’m an all-or-nothing kind of girl.” Time to own it.
Silas’s serious face split into a sexy grin that made my lungs wobble in my chest.
“I know you are. I’ve seen you try to deny that part of yourself and you weren’t happy. But I’m going to make you a promise right now, Harlow. I will never be wishy-washy with you. I will never be careless with your heart.” I pressed my lips together as my sinuses burned with emotion. “For me, when I’m in, I’m all in. And when I’m done, like I was with my marriage, I’m done.”
I bit my bottom lip. “So, when did you start feeling something? With me?”
He nodded. “I always liked being around you. I cared about you. I valued our friendship, and you as a person. But when I found out Jacquie had cheated, and I felt all of my love and trust for her slip away, I almost immediately thought about you. Maybe that’s wrong, but it’s true. And once I started thinking of you that way, I couldn’t stop. It was really hard to watch you pine over that jarhead—not gonna lie—but I knew I had to be patient.” My heart. Uuuuugh, my heart. He went on, but he took my face in his hands and our eyes locked. “I’m ready to give you what you deserve, if you’ll let me.”
I couldn’t talk. I swallowed and nodded within his hands. Silas smiled. I smiled back, a laugh of joy spilling out of me. Then he kissed me. It wasn’t like the crushing, searing kisses we’d shared during our two intense moments when we’d been overcome by lust. In this kiss was the softness of vulnerability as he gave his heart to me, and I passed mine to him. Our lips moved in a dance of sweetness and trust, exploring this new and delicate and gorgeous thing between us.
“I’m going to spoil you, Silas,” I said against his lips.
“I don’t doubt that,” he whispered.
And then he deepened the kiss. I pulled him closer, my legs widening to get us closer. I felt my body coming to life all over again, begging for that closeness. “I want you,” I whispered against his mouth.
He helped me down and took my hand, leading me down the hall as my head and body buzzed. In his dim bedroom I was overcome by a warm cloud of Silas-scented testosterone filled pheromones that made me momentarily dizzy. I would have laughed at the overflowing laundry baskets on his dresser if I wasn’t turned on out of my mind.
He stopped and turned to face me. “Go ahead and take off your panties.”
I nodded, unable to speak, and