“I don’t either, Jax. Plus, as a therapist, we don’t fix people, because in my mind, they aren’t broken. They are just complex.”
“Yeah, well, just go see about her complexities.”
“Ja—”
“Fuck, Eddie,” I shouted, jumping up from the couch. I gestured in the direction of Kennedy’s house. “She’s drowning. She’s in that house alone, and she’s drowning in her memories and guilt. I know what that’s like. I know what it’s like to drown from all of that shit, but at least I had you to go to. At least I had someone to talk to over the years. Kennedy has no one. Please, Eddie. Just…” I sighed and rubbed my hands down my face. “Help her.”
I looked his way and saw the guilt sitting in his eyes.
He wasn’t going to help her.
Fuck.
“You know what? Never mind. It was stupid for me to come over here. Sorry for wasting your time.”
“You didn’t waste my time, Jax. This is good. This is all good for your progress,” he said as he pushed himself up from his chair.
“My progress? I told you this wasn’t about me.”
He gave me a knowing look, and I hated it.
“She was your best friend,” he stated. “It’s not shocking that your feelings have resurfaced about her with her arrival in town. That’s completely normal, and you don’t have to be freaked out by your feelings. Your concern is warranted.”
“I’m not freaked out by my feelings because I’m not feeling anything about it. What don’t you get? I’m fine. I healed. I did my therapy.”
“You healed?” he asked, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his slacks.
“Yes. I did the work. I got better.”
He narrowed his eyes and swayed back and forth. “How are things with your father, Jax?”
My hands formed fists and my nails began digging into my skin. “Don’t do that, Eddie.”
“Do what?”
He knew exactly what I meant. I didn’t have to talk to him about my father. I was dealing with it. I was getting through it. I was fine. I was more than okay. I was better. It was Kennedy who needed his therapist stares. It was her who was falling apart.
“Forget it. I’m leaving. Thanks,” I muttered, walking toward his front door.
Eddie followed me, and when I stepped onto his front porch, he spoke. “It’s good that she has you. Maybe that’s what she needs more than therapy—just someone to be there for her.”
“I’m not a good person to be there for others, doc. That shit doesn’t work out for me.”
“Every day is a new opportunity to try again. Maybe you can renew your past friendship with Kennedy. That could be healing for the both of you.”
What is with these people? First Connor was telling me to build a fucking snowman with Kennedy and now Eddie was pushing me to befriend her, too. I was pretty sure Joy would get on that train soon enough, too.
What didn’t they understand? I didn’t need a friend. I just wanted Kennedy to get the help she deserved. She had once been so vibrant, so bright and full of light, and now? Her light had faded, which was a fucking shame, because she was the kind of light that made even the darkest soul feel bright.
I brushed my hand over my mouth. “It’s unfair. She’s good, Eddie. She’s so good. She doesn’t deserve that kind of suffering.”
“No one does, Jax, including you. When we can’t lean on ourselves, it’s nice to have others to lean on, too.” I gave him a broken smile, and to my surprise, Eddie called out once more. “I’ll check in on her. You know, as a neighborly gesture.”
My frozen heart? Holy shit, it started beating again.
“Really?” I asked, my voice cracking.
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure we haven’t taken her any food like the rest of the people in this town have. I was trying to avoid being that cliché but it can’t hurt.”
“Thank you, Eddie,” I said, more sincere than ever.
He nodded once and turned to head back into his house.
“Chocolate chip cookies,” I called out. “They were always her favorite.”
“Chocolate chip—a classic. Good night, Jax.”
“Night, Eddie.”
After my visit with Eddie, I stopped by the nursing home to read my father his chapters. He was much more aggressive that night and irritated with everything and everyone—including me. I didn’t get to read much to him that night, and when I got home, I couldn’t stop recalling the ways he used