them once while Eddie and I were…um, well…” She blushed more and leaned in toward me. “You see, I was on my hands and knees on the sink counter.” She paused and gestured around. “Don’t worry, I bleached everything before you came over. There’s no cu—”
“Oookay, you know what, Marie? I think we got it from here. How about you go ahead and tend to whatever else you need to get done around the house? I’ll be done in here in no time.”
I glanced over my shoulder to see Connor standing there with his arms crossed and the reddest face in the history of time. His cheeks were puffed out like Alvin the damn chipmunk, and I knew if I poked him in the side, he’d explode.
When Marie was out of sight, Connor released his laughter, hunching over and gripping his stomach as he howled in a fight of giggles.
“Oh my gosh, that’s the nastiest shit I’ve ever heard! She’s like a hundred years old!” he exclaimed.
“She’s in her sixties, not one hundred, and you’d be lucky to be her age and still have a sex life.”
He shivered at the thought. “That’s disgusting. I don’t want my wrinkled cock sliding into someone at that age.”
“Language, Connor.”
“I’m just saying that’s fucking gross.”
“Language, Connor.”
He groaned. “Sorry, Jax.”
“Just hand me a wrench, will you?” I rolled up my sleeves and maneuvered beneath the sink to get started.
“Hey, Jax—knock, knock,” Connor said, holding the wrench out toward me. I swore, this guy cracked more bad jokes than a Midwestern dad.
“Who’s there?”
“Marie’s anal beads.”
For fuck’s sake. “Marie’s anal beads who?”
He snickered before bursting out laughing again. “No, that’s it. That’s the joke. The joke is you’re about to touch Marie’s anal beads, and if that’s not comedy, I don’t know what is.”
He kept snickering the whole time I worked, and I didn’t expect anything less from the goofy kid.
After the anal beads had been successfully removed from the sink pipe, I scrubbed my hands aggressively then shut off the faucet. “Go toss the stuff into the truck. I’ll meet you there.”
“Aye, aye, captain.”
He hurried away, and as I headed out of the bathroom, I found Eddie walking into the house with a briefcase in his hands. He spent his mornings in the park, reading the newspaper on his days off.
Eddie was in his sixties, too, and the wrinkles on his face told the stories of his past. His smile lines were deep, and all of his lines contained levels of depth.
He nodded my way with a small grin. “I see you’re still alive after missing two weeks of therapy appointments,” he commented with a smirk.
“Just working.”
He nodded in understanding as he set his briefcase on the ground. He raked his hand through his gray hair. “And Amanda? How is she? How are you two doing?”
“We aren’t. We broke up a few weeks ago.”
“Hmph.” Eddie stare said a lot more than his words ever would.
I sighed. “Okay, out with it.”
“Out with what?”
“Your thoughts on the subject of Amanda and me.”
“Thoughts?” he murmured, brushing his thumb across his thick mustache. “I have no thoughts at all on the subject.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Really.” He paused for a moment, still studying me with those therapist eyes of his. The fact that we weren’t sitting in his office didn’t mean he wouldn’t utilize his skills on me. A part of me was suspicious that he’d had Marie place the anal beads down the drain just to get me to come over after missing some appointments.
I wouldn’t have put it past Eddie.
“Why?” he questioned with his narrowed eyes. “Should I have thoughts on the subject? Do you have thoughts on the subject?”
There it was.
His comments seemed so nonchalant, but I knew he was setting me up to dig deeper into my psyche about why things hadn’t worked out between Amanda and me. He was therapist-ing me.
“Do you want me to lie down on your couch and tell you my thoughts?” I joked.
Eddie smirked a little. “My couch is always open.”
“Yeah, well, not today. Plus, we have rules. In-office sessions only, remember? Besides, I have more jobs to get to with Connor, so forgive me for not wanting to dive into the details of my breakup.”
“Hmm.” Oh hell. I knew the tone of that hmm. No good ever came from that type of hmm when it left Eddie’s lips. He gestured toward the couch. “Are you sure we can’t explore a bit? Even for five minutes or so?”