be. I’ll admit when I saw your name on my schedule, I thought it was a typo,” Eddie said as I walked into his office.
I snickered a little and took my very familiar seat across from his desk. “Yeah, well, what can I say? I like to keep people on their toes.” It had been a few weeks since Derek came into town and I was still trying to deal with the truths he revealed to me. Each day came with its own struggles and I had gone through every emotion out there, but I didn’t have to deal with them alone anymore. I didn’t have to feel what I felt in the dark, because Kennedy was there to be my light.
Truthfully, I had a whole team around me to help guide me home whenever I started to slip away, and that included my therapy appointments with Eddie. If anything, I learned what it meant to conquer ones demons. It wasn’t something you did, and then it magically disappeared forever. No, life was determined to throw shit your way, no matter how hard you tried to stay in the realm of happiness.
But I’d discovered quickly how important it was to learn to fight back.
That was the thing about storms. When you were in the middle of them, they felt so powerful. They felt as if they were driving your life, and you were left with no control over the way the winds blew you. That was why it was so important to have a core group of love surrounding you at all times. When you faced the storms together, when you held the hands of the ones you loved, and stood steady, the storms had a harder time pushing you over. The storms didn’t blow you away because you were linked to the world with love, the most powerful weapon that could be used during the mightiest of storms.
And when the storm passed? You were left standing with the ones you loved, staring out at the rainbows. Kennedy was what grounded me. Her hand in my hand kept me still, and with her love, I survived the hardest of my storms.
Eddie and I spoke for a while. We went over my allotted time, but he didn’t seem to mind, and when it came time for me to leave, he sat back in his chair, staring at me with tears in his eyes.
I snickered. “Are you getting emotional on me, Doc?”
“It’s just…” He cleared his throat, took off his glasses, and wiped at his eyes. “This is good. This is amazing, Jax. It’s been an honor to watch you become the man you are today. You are the definition of healing. You put in the work, and it shows.”
I felt it, too. I felt the healing, felt myself becoming whole again.
I called Derek down to Havenbarrow, telling him I needed to go over some paperwork about transferring the property over to me. Even though that wasn’t the real reason I called him. I figured it was time we truly talked over everything that happened.
When he arrived at the house, he looked broken down and full of guilt. Before he could let another apology slip through his lips, I told him not to say it.
“Just come inside,” I told him, heading into the house. He followed behind me.
The moment he stepped into the living room, he paused and raised an eyebrow. “What’s going on?”
Around the space were cans of paint and materials to fix the house up. I sat down on the couch across from him and clasped my hands together. “I’m tired of hard stuff. I’m tired of trying to figure out why you did what you did, and how my life could have been different if you told the truth. I’m tired of trying to hate you. I’m tired of feeling bad for you and the shit you’ve been carrying on your shoulders. I’m tired of the past, Derek. So, I’m fixing up the holes around this place. I’m removing all the memories of what Dad did to me. I’m filling up the holes that remind me of everything that happened before, and I want you to help me.”
He cleared his throat and crossed his arms. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Jax.”
“Yeah, I know, but I will someday. It will take a bit of time. For now, I just need your help painting these walls.”
We didn’t have to figure everything out right then and there. We didn’t have