The Sophomore (College Years #2) - Monica Murphy Page 0,93
to being with women who aren’t virgins. Who are adventurous and willing to do anything. I’m definitely willing when it comes to Jackson, and I’m sure I’ll be bold, especially when it has to do with him, but I don’t want to be in pain or cry over it.
“Won’t it hurt no matter how we approach this?” I ask her.
“Yeah. I mean, the intensity level could fluctuate,” she says, her expression thoughtful. “Make sure you’re good and lubricated.”
Ha. I sort of want to die of embarrassment over this.
“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” I say, trying to keep a straight face.
Just before we both burst into giggles.
I spend the next hour enjoying my time with my friends, soaking up Ava’s bubbly good mood, laughing with her and the rest of the girls as she tells us stories about her time so far in San Diego. The weather is perfect, she spends a lot of free time at the beach and she’s become friends with her dorm roommate.
“But she’ll never replace you,” Ava says to me at one point, which makes me misty eyed.
“She better not,” I say gruffly, just before I pull her into a hug.
I’m hugging on a lot of people tonight. It doesn’t help that I’ve had a couple of shots. A giant margarita made by Caleb, who’s on bartending duty tonight. I don’t even ask where the liquor comes from. They just always seem to magically have it, I’m guessing thanks to older friends.
Oh wait. Caleb keeps mentioning his fake ID. That’s where they’re getting it.
“There’s a party at my frat tomorrow night,” Caleb says. “You should all come.”
“Yes!” Ava shouts, smiling at all of us. “I’m there.”
“What if I want to keep you to myself?” Eli asks her as he approaches her from behind, slinging his arms around her waist.
“We can hang out at the party for a while,” she says. “And then you can have me all to yourself.”
A happy sigh leaves me as I watch them, feeling sappy. Gracie sighs too.
“They’re couple goals,” she says.
“So are Hayden and Tony,” I add.
“Right? He would do anything for her. He’s so good for her. They’re good for each other.” Gracie slowly shakes her head. “It feels like I will never find that.”
“You will,” I tell her firmly. “He’s out there, just waiting for you.”
“Really? Because I’m starting to think a guy like that doesn’t exist for me.” Her gaze goes to Caleb, as if she can’t help herself.
“You like him?” I ask.
“Not particularly,” she says with a sigh. “I find him attractive. I’m drawn to his pretty face and his fucked-up mouth. I bet he’s amazing in bed. Or wherever else he likes to have sex.”
“I had a huge crush on him in middle school. When he was in the eighth grade and I was in the seventh,” I admit.
Her eyes widen. “Really? Do tell.”
I shrug. “It’s like a rite of passage at my school for every girl to have a crush on Caleb Burke at some point in their life. He’s just so attractive and flirty. He always has been. He makes every girl feel like she matters, even though, deep down, he doesn’t really give a shit.”
“I don’t think he doesn’t give a shit,” Gracie says, actually defending him. “It’s more like he just really likes women. All sorts of them.”
Sounds familiar, is what I want to tell her. Gracie really likes men—all sorts of them. “He’ll be a hard man to tame.”
“Maybe he shouldn’t be tamed. Maybe he should run wild and free,” Gracie says, sounding thoughtful.
I think of Jackson. He’s a little wild and free himself. And if he really pursues the rock star life, is that something I want to deal with? It’s one thing to be one of his adoring fans. His good friend.
I’m pretty sure I’m about to step into the next level and become his actual girlfriend. How will I deal with those adoring fans? Can I handle them? Will I want to? And what if his career actually takes off? Will I end up getting left behind?
All things I really don’t want to focus on right now.
Long minutes later, I’m in the kitchen, munching from a bag of tortilla chips, when I feel someone approach me from behind. A very tall, broad someone, who slowly wraps his arms around my waist and presses his body to mine.
“Time’s up,” Jackson whispers in my ear. “It’s been an hour.”
“No way.” I’m still munching on the chips, shivering when