The Sophomore (College Years #2) - Monica Murphy Page 0,5

why it took me so long

Since you’ve been living in my head

Before I started writing this song

Everything inside of me melts, despite the fact that I know this song isn’t about me. He hasn’t got me in his bed—not even close. But the way he looks at me in this moment, as if he’s singing this song just to me, makes me wish he had.

I glance to my left to see Ava watching me with a knowing look on her face, though I can see the concern in her eyes too. I can only smile weakly at her in return, too giddy to worry about what she thinks. I’m too busy having a total moment of realization.

It feels like Jackson is finally seeing me. Really seeing me for the first time.

My entire body buzzes with excitement at the thought. There’s an afterparty tonight. Eli is hosting it at their apartment. Maybe something will…happen between Jackson and me. Something real. Something magical.

A girl can only hope.

The song ends and Jackson grins while the crowd cheers uncontrollably. I glance around, spotting girls with tears streaming down their faces as they scream their heads off for him, and I’m blown away. He’s touched so many. I wonder if he can see it. The power he wields over people with his performance, his songs, his words, his smiles.

Oh God, the smiles.

“Good night,” he says into the mic, and the lights fade, shrouding him in complete darkness. The concert is over.

The girls are still going wild.

“Let’s go backstage and talk to him,” Eli yells at us over the screams. “He told me our names are on a list.”

I nod eagerly, a different kind of anticipation thrumming in my veins, in my head. The excitement of finally getting to see Jackson in the flesh is making me anxious.

Nervous.

We make a human chain and work our way through the crowd, all of us connected by hands or hanging on to the back of someone’s shirt. We head for the backstage area, Eli and I leading the pack, until we’re stopped by a burly looking man with a menacing expression on his face.

“We’re friends of Jackson’s,” Eli says and the guy rolls his eyes. I’m sure he’s heard that before. “No man, I’m serious. Look up our names. Eli Bennett.”

The bodyguard grabs a clipboard that’s hanging on the wall and checks it before lifting his head. “You’re good.”

We each give him our names and he finds every single one of us on the list. I can tell he’s surprised as he opens the chipped black painted door. “Right this way.”

We file through the open doorway. Excitement licks at my skin. It’s been way too long since I’ve seen Jackson. I don’t care how sweaty or smelly he might be after that performance, I want to hug him.

Truthfully? I want to rub myself all over him. Don’t know how he’d react to that, so I’m reminding myself, yet again, to calm down so I won’t act like a groupie.

Within seconds of coming backstage, we find ourselves in a narrow hall with closed doors on either side.

“The dressing rooms,” Gracie announces. She’s dated a few musicians who’ve performed at Strummers in the past, so she should know. “His name should be on the door.”

We find his room with the small chalkboard sign hanging on the wall with his name on it. Eli knocks on the door and tests the handle to find it’s unlocked so he barges in, all of us following behind him.

“Congrats on a fucking awesome performance tonight, bro!” Eli yells, stopping short when he sees what’s happening.

I go still too, my mouth popping open in shock.

Jackson is sitting in a chair in front of a mirror with a very beautiful woman on his lap. She’s clad in a crop top and tiny denim shorts, miles of bare skin on display. Her arms are wound around his neck, her hands in his hair. His arms rest casually around her bare waist, one hand grasping her butt and holding her to him.

Their mouths were fused. He breaks the kiss when he hears us, his wide, slightly wild eyes meeting mine for the briefest moment before he tears them away.

My heart drops. Crashes to the ground, shattering into tiny, jagged pieces.

“Oh. Shit.” He smiles, not the least bit ashamed to be found with a woman on his lap practically humping him. She glances over her shoulder to look at us, a sultry expression on her beautiful face. “Thanks, guys. Didn’t,