The Sophomore (College Years #2) - Monica Murphy Page 0,105

appreciate you.”

She slings her arms around my shoulders, clinging to me. “This weekend has been the best one I’ve had in a long time.”

“Me too.” I slip my arms around her waist, pulling her in closer. “I’m glad you didn’t have to work.”

“I have to go back tomorrow though.” She mock pouts. It’s cute. “I work all week.”

“We have an away game next Saturday,” I remind her. “Pasadena.”

“Who are you playing?” she asks with a frown.

“UCLA.” I grimace. “Probably going to have our asses handed to us.”

“I don’t know. I’ve heard their season hasn’t been that great,” she says.

I’m surprised. “You keep up with college football? Besides just the Bulldogs?”

“I work at a sports bar. We have ESPN on the big screen TVs at all times. It’s not like I’m purposely keeping up. I can’t help but absorb all of that information when I work there practically full-time,” she explains.

I laugh, squeezing her tight. “I love that you know what’s going on in college football.”

“I like to know what’s going on with all aspects of your life,” she tells me, patting my chest. “Everything,” she stresses.

She wants to ease my burden by taking some of it on herself, but how can I explain to her what’s going on inside my head when I can’t fully figure it out myself? I’m still working through this, and what I need from her right now, more than anything else, is patience.

Lots and lots of it.

We stay at the Callahans’ house long into the night, until we all finally leave in a caravan of vehicles to head back down the hill for Fresno. Ava and Eli ride with us back to our shared apartment, the girls chatting away while us guys interject here and there. We didn’t make it to Caleb’s frat party after all, which Ava points out midway through our drive, but Ellie reassures her that there are plenty of other frat parties for us to go to in the future.

I realize this is what I missed out on when we were in high school. We could’ve double dated with Eli and Ava all the time, and it would’ve been fun.

But I would’ve most likely fucked it up. She would’ve dumped my ass, and been completely out of my life in a flash. Maybe I did the right thing, not getting with her when we were younger.

Maybe there’s a reason we waited.

By the time we arrive at the apartment and we’re all tucked away in our respective bedrooms, I decide to tell Ellie about my earlier thoughts.

“You know, we probably wouldn’t be here right now if we’d gotten together when we were both still in high school,” I say as we lie on my bed in the dark.

“You really believe that?” she asks, her voice soft, her head nestled on my shoulder.

“Yeah. I was thinking about it on the ride home. I would’ve done something stupid, and you would’ve dumped my ass,” I say.

“Probably.”

“And then our friendship would’ve been ruined. We couldn’t get it back. We’d be out of each other’s lives for good.” I turn to her, touching her cheek. “So in a way, I’m glad I was an idiot and took this long to finally realize how I feel about you.”

She laughs. “Nice way to justify your feelings, Jackson.”

“I’m being serious.” Her laughter dies. “I know it sounds like an excuse, but all those ‘what ifs’ are in my brain. High school relationships rarely last.”

“We’re surrounded by high school relationships that are still lasting,” she points out.

“Yeah, but for how much longer?”

Ellie gasps. “Are you saying they’re all going to break up with each other?”

“I don’t know. The chances are high. And maybe…maybe we will break up too.” Fear seizes hold of my heart and I take deep, even breaths, mentally calming myself. I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose Ellie.

She’s quiet for a moment. “I hope not. We only just started this thing. We’re not even officially together.”

Something comes over me at her words. I take another deep breath and say what it is. “I want you to be my girlfriend.”

More silence. It’s unnerving, how quiet she is. Does she really have to think about this? There was no hesitation on my end, but I guess I deserve her momentarily considering my offer. I mean, I’ve been a complete dumbass for the last two years so—

I hear a sniff. Another one. And I realize.

Oh shit.

She’s crying.

“El. Baby.” I pull her into my arms, hating how she cries