Her tears fell at his words and before she could stop herself she replied, “I love you, Garrett, with all my heart.”
“And never another man?” he asked, his tone serious.
She shook her head. “Nay, I’ve loved no other.” She wiped at her tears. “But we cannot do this, Garrett, ’tis wrong of us. God would—”
“God wants His children to love one another and be happy, Madeleine. You are happy with me?” he asked, hesitation in his voice. “I have a reputation for coldness, though I’ve found that in your company I’m all heat and fire.” His eyes blazed with desire for her.
Madeleine thrilled at his words and couldn’t help but tease him a bit. “You are never cold with me, my lord.” She cocked her head to one side. “Arrogant. Argumentative. Hardheaded perhaps, but never cold.”
He laughed at her words. “You bring out the best in me.” He studied her a moment. “I know you are devoted to God and that it makes you uncomfortable kissing a married man. I promise I won’t kiss you again until I am freed by the Church.”
Madeleine saw the determination in his eyes. He’d seemed so sad and yet so angry when she’d first met him. She realized how unhappy and lonely he’d been and felt grateful that she’d brought a little bit of sunshine into his life. As long as he promised not to touch her, what harm was there in giving him something to live for, something that renewed his energy and his outlook on life?
Besides, she truly loved this man, loved for the first time ever. The depth of her emotions surprised her. Love for Garrett swept in and filled her heart before she’d known what was happening. She couldn’t imagine being parted from him and wished she could commit to him in body and soul for the rest of their lives.
Yet Henri lurked in the shadows. Where only minutes ago she’d struggled to move about this room, now her struggle must be to stop this. Now. Before it was too late.
Though this was the only happiness either of them had known in years, she must make Garrett see how impossible a love between them was. She could not let her selfish heart rule her head and give him hope for their love. Would she not do the same thing Lynnette had done by leaving him in the end? It was a cruel ploy.
She must beg God to give her the strength to withstand this temptation. Her love for Garrett was too strong. She must put a chance at momentary happiness with him aside, for what if she gave him hope of a future together and then disappeared? She could imagine only too well how he would withdraw from life. If she vanished after pretending they would have a life together, her rejection might break him for good.
She found voice for her brave words, though they rang hollow in her ears. “I am damaged goods, Garrett, a poor troubadour with a limp. I have a regretful past and no future, nothing to offer you. I cannot accept your love.”
The heat in his eyes frightened her. Madeleine saw her words only challenged him. Garrett would be resolute in his quest for her. She prayed for strength and hoped God wouldn’t let her down.
He moved toward her but she placed her hand upon his chest.
“You said no more kisses,” she reminded him.
“No more—after this one,” he said and lowered his head to hers one more time.
*
For the next two months while her leg slowly healed, Garrett held to his promise. He did not kiss Madeleine. He longed to every waking moment and dreamed of her at night, but he refused to break his pledge. Though she did accuse him on more than one occasion of looking at her like a hungry wolf before devouring a sheep.
“I said nothing about looks, Madeleine. I may gaze upon you any way I like. And you may look at me with a certain fondness tomorrow, for I have a surprise to share with you.
“I find I don’t care much for surprises, my lord.”
He smiled at her. “Oh, I think you’ll be happy with this one.”
The next morning, he entered her chamber, careful to mask any emotion, his cloak gathered about him.
She cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips. “I suppose you’ve come bearing some gift to take my mind from my worries, my lord. Mayhap you have a sweetmeat or one of Cook’s tarts