Somewhere Over the Freaking Rainbow - By L.L. Muir Page 0,75
to bed.” Mom picked up her glass and took it to the kitchen, then waved to him and Skye as she climbed the stairs. “Don’t stay up too late.”
He started to say ‘we won’t’ but choked on the lie. They’d get everything settled and in spite of the cold hardness in his stomach, he wouldn’t put it off any longer. Skye’d promised to stay for the funeral. If he let her go before the future was set, he’d never see her again. He knew it.
They sat at opposite ends of the couch, facing each other. She’s ready for this conversation too. Good.
Jamison cleared his throat. “I’ll get this out of the way first. I love you. I don’t think you can understand how much, and I think you believe I could get over you, like some ordinary broken heart, if you left me now.”
She pursed her lips, then nodded.
He went on. “You’d be wrong. I’d say I can’t live without you, but that’s not true.”
She looked surprised, almost hurt.
“I’d go on living, just like everyone else does, but I’d be dead inside. I’d get obsessed with Somerled compounds. I’d beat their doors down, looking for you. And some of them aren’t so friendly—like Lanny’s group—and I could get hurt or my memory erased. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”
She smiled, then shook her head and opened her mouth to speak, but he held up his hand to stop her.
“I’m not done.” He pulled Granddad’s plaid over his legs, offered her the other end, but she shook her head. “I don’t want to live without you, but I will.” He leaned forward. “But only if it’s the best thing for you.”
She looked at her hands and he couldn’t tell what she might be thinking.
“You can list all the reasons in the world for us not to be together, but unless I agree, unless it’s more important to you than I am, then I’m not going to let you leave me.”
She didn’t look up. He waited a minute, then told her he was finished.
“I’ll get this out of the way first. I love you too.” She didn’t look too happy about it. “It’s been fun, playing the part of girlfriend.”
Aaagh. He was going to die. She was giving him the “it’s been fun” line and he was sitting there, bleeding. But what did she know of blood? She really couldn’t know how he felt.
“I’ve liked, um, kissing you, but you know I can’t feel it the way other girls can.”
The dim light of the lamps gave the walls a warm glow, but to Jamison, it all looked pointless and sick. Her feeble attempts to make him feel better weren’t helping.
“Please. Stop.” He cleared his throat. “All this flattery is killing me.” He pulled the blanket off and put his feet on the ground to show her to the door.
“Excuse me. I’m not finished.” She folded her arms and glared at him until he faced her again. “Let me remind you of what you just told me. I don’t think you really understand how much I love you. If you did understand, there is no way you could let me out that door. Ever.”
Well, that sounded a lot better. In fact, he needed to get closer so he could hear more.
He scooted to the center of the couch, but she held out her hands.
“Wait. I’m not done.”
“We need to talk softer, so my mom won’t hear.” He pushed her feet onto the floor then pulled her across his lap, facing him.
“It bothers me, how smooth you move. Makes me wonder how many girlfriends you’ve had.”
“Just you. I’m just naturally smooth.”
He could feel her, probing his memories but there were no old girlfriends to find. A few random kisses, but he couldn’t remember faces or names. She probably thought he was pathetic.
She beamed.
“Great, now I’m a pity case.”
“Pity for the rest of them.” She leaned forward and kissed him with all the emotion he would have expected from a mortal girlfriend. When she pulled back, though, she was upset. “I would have loved to have felt that.”
He was such an idiot! Here she was, deaf, dumb and blind to everything he could enjoy and he was trying to keep her here, keep her in the prison of no sensation.
His shoulders slumped. “What do we do, sweeting?”
She smiled at him through eyes that could not weep. “Kenneth called me sweeting.”